I’m really wondering if I’m looking at the early stages of diminished capacity.  Cancer has left Scott’s memory a little foggy but what has it done to mine?  I’m the same person that held two jobs while raising two kids and held positions in multiple non-profit and community boards.  I managed to navigate the medical and insurance worlds that was my life for the past two years when Scott became sick.  Now I can’t even successfully manage a Sirius XM radio account.  I mean – what the hell?  Is it me or just the world we live in?  We might not be walking uphill two miles to school and back with bread bags in our snow boots but is what we have now any easier? 

One of the perks of maturity (thankfully for us at least) is knowing that we have enough money in our checking accounts to handle automatic obligations and cover our spending.  Gone are the days of keeping an eagle eye on that balance and robbing Peter to pay Paul and keep the bills paid and avoid overdraft fees that seemed to stress me out in my early years of marriage back in the 80’s.  Unfortunately, I had misguidedly decided about 10 years ago that I no longer needed to balance my checkbook.  Now, with so much free time on my hands, I decided that I would track our expenses in Quickbooks.      

The process of entering our 2024 transactions led me to several interesting discoveries.  The subscription to Prime Video that I thought I canceled last fall was still being deducted.  We also discovered that funds were being taken from Scott’s account twice a month from Sirius XM radio.  Long story short, after two attempts, we were STILL paying for the vehicle I sold back in November.  I know, you’re welcome!  Hopefully, the third attempt to remove it is the charm. If I had taken the time to write down the date and time that I had talked to the representative the first time, I could have asked them to review the tapes and prove that I had asked the Traverse to be cancelled back in November.  As consumers, we need to use that “your call is being recorded for training purposes” to our advantage.  Thanks to my friend in customer service for that little tidbit!

As most of you know, I sold my business back in October of 2023.  Ancient history; right?  Wish.  Last week I got a little “love letter” in the mail.  A delinquent tax notice with my name on it for property taxes on the property I no longer owned.  You know that I opened the notice on a Friday after five so I had all weekend to stew about it.  I could go into it but after several phone calls and a trip to the title office, I am washing my hands of it.   Everyone wants to prove to me that it’s not their fault and pass the buck.  More than once I was told that I shouldn’t worry about it; I can’t lose real estate for delinquent taxes when I don’t own the property. Great problem solving!

That’s not all.  After nine months, the State is still processing the transfer of the liquor license.  Now they have decided that I never paid a fee back in 2019; so, the license can’t be transferred until that is paid.  Sure, let me just open up my bottomless pocket book for that too.  Wanting to be sure that the funds make it to the right hands, I asked for payment instructions.  They respond by sending me a credit card payment form and that I can fax the form back or mail it.   I guess writing a check is old school but faxing isn’t?

Regardless of your income or ability, the average citizen is expected to have the minimum of a Smart phone and the ability to scan and email and text.  The medical world operates strictly on-line and I doubt that you can even receive financial aid if you don’t have a way to operate electronically.  At the same time the government is telling us that they only accept fax or snail mail.  Who even has a land line anymore let alone a fax machine?  Seriously.  

I mean even using the phone to handle a problem is becoming archaic.  How many times do you sit on hold waiting for the representative while listening to the recording telling you that if you want better service, you should log on and handle your problem electronically?  Assuming you have gotten that far.  So many times, you get caught in a loop of AI; screaming your option choice with your blood pressure reaching dangerous levels.  Like speaking louder will solve your problems.  How often do we find ourselves needing a drink after just trying to call and conduct business?  You have to be a genius with patience of Job just to survive these days. 

Even my hobbies lead to stress these days.  Being that I enjoy sewing; I decided to look into getting a commercial style machine so I can do some projects without having to pay an expert.  Maybe recover that ugly old couch in the basement that we can’t seem to part with.  I started shopping on Marketplace and found a good old machine in Indiana listed by a sweet old lady that was so anxious to sell that she was even going to teach me how to use it.  Luckily, I didn’t have access to a pick-up truck.  Today the same machine picture is used on a listing in Battle Creek by a different seller.  Who knows what would have happened to me if I had gone to look at it alone.  Damn scammers! 

Speaking of.  Don’t you just feel all warm and fuzzy every time you get that friend request from the superhot retired service man who has been recently widowed and is looking to be your friend because he loves the review you posted three years ago for the local burger joint?  Seriously?  Impersonating a service person is unforgiveable.  Losers!! I’m tempted to waste their time and lead them on.  Tell them that I have millions in the bank and that I’m just looking for sex.  Sounds like fun but I’m pretty sure some how they would somehow manage to gain my personal information and I would end up the loser. 

Scott & I might need to pack up and join the Mountain Men.  See if Eustace wants to sell us off a little parcel.  Live off the land; I can make our clothes and Scott can grow our food.  No computers or televisions to fill my head with garbage.  No politics.  Just fresh air and nature.  Unfortunately, that life style likely comes with bugs and mice; and no air conditioning.  That won’t work for this fluffy aging woman either. 

I’m pretty sure that it’s the hot and humid weather that is causing my sour mood.   Maybe it’s retirement jitters.  Not having your life operate at 90 miles an hour makes you feel like you are just sitting around waiting for the next problem to raise its ugly head.  Let’s do lunch has a whole new meaning when all your friends are over an hour away. And even if you have all the time in the world, it doesn’t mean that others do.  Maybe feeling this way is normal for people after they have lived through life altering events.  Normal life is just boring after the shit storm is over.

Since I obviously don’t have the patience to return to the work force, I guess I will have to ask Meta AI how to cope.  Reminding me; the other day Scott and I were talking about the 5 Love Languages.  Ok, yes, I was talking at him about the 5 Love Languages; refreshing his memory.  Sure enough, the next time I was on Facebook, I had something in my feed referring to them.  Scary. 

There’s plenty more of the same but I’ve exceeded my word limit for the day.  Don’t feel sorry for me.  I’ve made it to 60 without medication; I’ll get through it.  Let this be the distraction you needed from your own problems.  Know that the lives of your seemingly perfect Facebook friends aren’t perfect either.  Laugh.  Like everything before it, it will pass.  Things will work out; it’s just another chapter in What Doesn’t Kill You Girl Makes You Stronger!