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  • Learning to Get Along

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    The last few weeks have brought us some great memories and fun; but let’s face it, it’s really hard to feel upbeat when our country is in the shape that it is.  Not only are we all frustrated with prices at the gas pump and the grocery store; we are all unable to fully relax and enjoy the company of friends and loved ones because of the glaring political divide.  It’s no secret that the media is so in tune with what our preferences are that all we are able to access is more of the same brainwashing material.  Finding material to help you see the other side is practically impossible.  We are all being fed the information that “they” want us to see and hear that supports our own feelings; often separating us from our friends, family and neighbors.    

    I am very proud of my 22 years of service to my community as a township official.  This experience gave me a lot of opportunity to strongly debate my thoughts on an issue and actively listen to the other side. Still, able to leave the meeting as friends; as if we shared all the same opinions.  Unfortunately, it seems that so many are unable to do that in the current political climate. I would like to think that it will get better after the election but I’m afraid it won’t all be settled with an election.

    Speaking of coming together and serving a common goal; Scott and I had the pleasure of providing the host location for our grandson’s first birthday party.  While many of us would prefer to never have to see our ex’s again, reality is that with children and grandchildren, that isn’t always possible.  Working through this team-effort party, I found myself texting back and forth with Scott’s ex and going to her house to pick up things for the party.  It had to be pretty awkward for her too; being at the house that she and Scott built together and seeing all the changes. It’s weird; but it gets better with time. When you see the success that you can achieve when you act as a team it makes it all worthwhile.  It helps that we are all happier with the way it is versus the way it was; so we are all winners. 

    Our greatest challenges were not people challenges.  We managed; despite the lawn mower belt coming off right when we needed to mow where the tent was to go, pouring rain when we had scheduled set-up time, and the typical problems you run into when setting up a tent or awning.  No one passed out blowing up the hundred and some balloons either.  Our little man’s first rodeo was a total success.  A very successful collaboration between his parents and the three sets of grandparents.  A party fit for a king.  He won’t remember it but we have plenty of pictures to prove it happened.  The family potluck immediately following was also a hit and by 9:30 p.m. we called it a day; leaving the rest of the clean-up until tomorrow.  Finally, a good day!   Praise the Lord!  Right?  Nope; I realize that my bank has been texting me; my debit card has been hacked.   

    After the dust settled on our party day; our remaining six days home were packed with problem solving.  I got a new debit card and thankfully the bank took care of the fraudulent charges.  We got Scott’s truck into the body shop to repair damage done while we were shopping in Home Depot last month.  Fortunately, someone witnessed the employee causing the damage so it was covered.  I closed out three bank accounts we don’t need any more.  We figured out how to get his scripts filled in the U. P. since they can’t be shipped to Canada.  I guess there is a limit on the number of vacations you can go on and still get your prescriptions filled early if you are going to be out of the state or country.  Isn’t that the idea?  To retire and be on vacation all the time?        

    I promised myself when I wrote the last post that the next one would be positive and upbeat.  So, I better get this thing turned around fast!  I know my life is something most would envy but we wouldn’t be humans if we didn’t get stuck in the mud at times.   

    After squatting with family members at the cabin during their vacation weeks, it was finally time for our two weeks up there.  Scott’s daughter and husband joined us with their senior dog for a very chill week.  She is expecting a little girl in October and I was happy to act as photographer for them for some baby-bump pictures on the beach.  Fishing continued to suck and Scott and I both caught cold AGAIN but it was fun and relaxing. The following week had some friends join us for a great, relaxing time.  Although not everyone was able to make it up this year, we made lots of great memories.  Cooking on the outdoor stove, chilling on the pontoon and story-telling at the bonfire.  Two weeks of ideal weather in the mid to upper 70’s, with a great breeze = perfect.  Heaven on earth!  Even better; I FINALLY caught a fish.  Actually, two very nice fish.  These two whoppers putting me in the top spot for 2024.  Scott caught his first walleye in what he says is 54 years; yet go figure, after returning to camp with the fish supposedly on the stringer, they found that it had released itself.  At least he had a witness and a photo to back up his claim.  Has the worm turned?  I’ll provide an updated fishing report in my next post.

    We had a great Labor Day Weekend with multiple activities with friends and family.  This week is also packed with fun things as we take advantage of the extended period of very warm weather.  After a number of failed attempts at stocking my new little backyard fish pond, I think I have done it.  I say think because after creating a really cool environment including multiple hiding places for them, I’m lucky to sneak up on them and catch a swish of a tail of one or two before they hide.  Hopefully over time they will respond to my attempts to feed them.  Particularly now that I have over $200 into the pond and supplies; plus over $40 worth of fish food.  Probably not one of my better ideas.  I should probably just order some rubber goldfish from Amazon and call it finished. 

    I woke this morning before daylight; not ideal, but excited because I’m meeting with some girlfriends at a pool.  I guess if September is determined to be a continuation of a hot and dry summer, we might as well make the most of it.  The cleaning lady is coming today so getting up early is a great time to do all the cleaning it takes to prepare our house for the cleaning lady.  Some of you know what I mean and others just wish they knew.  When I worked full-time and owned the store, cleaning my house was something I could never get to.  Now that I have nothing to do, it’s something that I have worked hard for 45 years for and plan to continue.  There’s nothing better than your house smelling clean and fresh and knowing that you didn’t have to do it yourself.  Some people splurge on mani/pedis and I have my house cleaned.  My goal is to always stay in shape to the extent that I will be able to paint my own toenails.  Feeling that my feet are my most notable point of interest on my body; I like to keep them looking good.  If I can keep them looking at my feet; they might not notice my thickening middle!

    I might mention that today is also Friday the 13th.  While I don’t like to let this type of thing bother me, the jury is out on today.  While getting ready for his walk, Scott excitedly told me to look out the back window.  There was a skunk, dragging a dead rabbit across the lawn.  Better yet, it dragged it over to the porch and under the hot tub deck.  Who knew that skunks ate rabbits?  If that’s the case, they probably eat rubber fish too.  As much as social media and technology are my nemesis; at least we know where to turn to find out how to eradicate a skunk under the deck.  I smell a story brewing; stay tuned!

  • You Might Be Retired If…

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    You might be retired if you find yourself dashing to the bathroom after your first cup of morning coffee; giving thanks for the fact that you are retired.  I can’t imagine managing the logistics of getting to the restroom – Stat! from a work-in-person day-job.  If you wonder why grandparents are so understanding when their 2.5- year-old grand-daughter insists that she has to go potty so bad that she has to drop trou and do it in the lawn, it’s because they can relate.  If the opportunity presents itself; you must act.  Too much information?  It may be, but the more you know ahead of time, the more prepared you can be when old age starts creeping up on you.  Retirement planning isn’t all about financial planning.

    Morning coffee with family is the best on the deck

    Speaking of time; tomorrow is Scott’s 2nd post-BMT birthday.  He’s feeling pretty good but tires easily and even two years later; that one week of extreme chemo has done a number on his brain cells.  If I had a dollar for every time I’ve had to say “we already talked about this” I could buy a place in the Caribbean.  I may be retired but I still feel the pressure of being a caregiver.  I’m torn to let this cat out of the bag because I had a lot better attitude when I thought my role was temporary.  By this time, I expected us to be doing all the things we had on our bucket lists and living the dream.  I guess I was dreaming when I thought that things would be easy if we could just make it through that first year. Thankfully our calendar is filled with trips to our Canadian home-away-from-home but we still go to U of M in Ann Arbor every month for his check-ups, and the day-to-day stuff in between seems to be full of challenges. 

    Summer continued to feel like a never-ending delivery of lemons or maybe even raw sewage.  In June I reported on a laundry list of problems I was trying to tackle.  The rest of the summer was filled with more of the same. While from an aerial glance we are living the high life of one vacation after another, the real truth is that life remains full of challenges. I hit a roadblock in my adjustment to retirement; my attitude had soured and I was feeling defeated.  I realize that it’s all about perspective and I AM thankful Scott is alive but for the most part well but our life is different than I imagined. Along with all the freedom, retirement means that with so little on your daily plate, things that pop up needing your time and attention always seem to be bad things; problems.  And now you are out of practice with dealing with the daily grind and just want to sit back and relax. Add to that the amount of time you have available to let the news and social media consume your life and warp your sense of reality, retirement can be even more depressing than working!  You might be retired if your schedule seems to revolve around doctor’s appointments, funerals and dealing with the insurance company.  Constant problem solving when you thought that part of your life was over.

    Thankfully, my health has remained good but my mind is not what it used to be and my patience has long left the building.  I’ve been trying to do regular exercise and that has resulted in weight gain rather than loss.  Portion control and boredom eating is a problem; every day seems to deliver an excuse to eat and worry about dieting tomorrow.  Based on the amount of hair I find floating everywhere, I’m convinced that I’m losing my hair as well.    My fear of going bald like my grandmother is real.   

    Rather than depress you with my all my depths of despair moments; I’ll try and share a few teaching moments instead.  After spending three weeks together at the cabin in May, Scott was able to spend another ten days fishing with the guys in Canada.  After a few days at home, he went back again with his mother and sister in early July.  What should have been a couple of weeks of freedom for me, ended up being a string of disappointments.  One after another, plans with friends fizzled out and I spent the time feeling sorry for myself.  Thankfully I was also anxiously awaiting the birth of our second grandchild.  I was scheduled to care for big sister while mom and dad were at the hospital. Unfortunately, we had all assumed that since baby #1 had come two weeks early, so would her little brother.  When he still wasn’t here on his due date, I cancelled plans for the annual four-day camping/canoe trip with friends slated to start on that Thursday. 

    In our youth, we don’t take into consideration that disappointment exists whether you are six, sixty or probably even ninety-six.  Even worse, back then our parents stepped up to smooth out that disappointment; maybe with ice cream or alternate plans.  In adulthood, when real life slaps you in the face, many times no one is there to smooth it over for you.  Sure, I was still very excited to be welcoming a new baby into the family but a string of cancelled plans still stings as much today as it did back in my youth.  In the event that I have any young readers, keep that in mind before blowing off that dinner date with Grandma and Grandpa to go out bar hopping or just stay home glued to your electronic device.  It might be the only thing they had to look forward to for the whole week. 

    Once he decided to come, grandbaby #2 came fast.  Thankfully, I was already in the area when the texts started coming in.  They went from “looks like things are starting to happen”, to “come now!”, to a panic filled “where are you at??” in less than 30 minutes.  I was pretty concerned, knowing that my grand would wake in the morning to no mom and dad and Grandma instead.  Surprise! Luckily, she was a champ.  I had a wonderful time bonding with her and I wouldn’t trade it for the world.  When your not-yet-three-year-old grandchild asks for your attention and responds with “Grama, …..you’re amazing”; I don’t know if it gets better than that.  My long string of disappointments forgotten.  Life is good again.  Scott returned home late Saturday night, as did I.  I missed him…. until he delivered the news that he had lost his cell phone some where between Canada and home.  Ugh.  I logged in to our account and reported the phone lost.  He’s home for five minutes; and I’m back on duty. 

    Short lesson on the phone issue is that whatever you do; don’t get lax and not write down your Apple ID when you change it.  It took over a week, but we (I – of course) managed to have the information sent to me so he could reset his password.  His back-up to the Cloud was only a week old and almost nothing was lost.  Somehow, before the week ended, we had gone from getting him a “pay as you go” old-style flip phone without internet access as punishment for his irresponsibility to us both getting new phones. With insurance.  All that frustration behind us, we were ready to return to the cabin for a few days with Scott’s brothers and mother.

    It turns out that vacationing with people outside of your household encompassing three generations requires patience and flexibility.  One generation getting up at dawn while others sleep until noon.  Meals at all times, naps for young and old alike, bedtimes fluctuating.  Always waiting for someone to wake up, go to bed or get ready.  We had a great time but learned that we are very much set in our ways and take our daily peace and quiet for granted.  “Papa Scott” has a way to go before we can start vacationing with our own grandchildren!   

    We survived.  The food and fellowship were great but the fishing was not.  Everyone came up thinking that they held the secret to successful fishing only to find they did not.  Another retirement realization; just because you have lots of time for fishing, doesn’t mean they will be biting. According to a google search on bass fishing and casting; it seems that the average bass fisherman (woman 😊) casts 3 times a minute.  Assuming 27 days in the boat this year so far, fishing a minimum of say 3 hours a day, casting at 3 times a minute; it’s conceivable that I cast nearly 15,000 times and still haven’t landed but one baby pike.  Sadly, the men haven’t out-fished me by much.  Some call that crazy; I call it determined, and it’s still better than punching the timeclock.       

    One of my largest catches. Thank goodness the scenery is amazing.

  • What the H?

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    Back when a snow day was warranted

    I’m really wondering if I’m looking at the early stages of diminished capacity.  Cancer has left Scott’s memory a little foggy but what has it done to mine?  I’m the same person that held two jobs while raising two kids and held positions in multiple non-profit and community boards.  I managed to navigate the medical and insurance worlds that was my life for the past two years when Scott became sick.  Now I can’t even successfully manage a Sirius XM radio account.  I mean – what the hell?  Is it me or just the world we live in?  We might not be walking uphill two miles to school and back with bread bags in our snow boots but is what we have now any easier? 

    One of the perks of maturity (thankfully for us at least) is knowing that we have enough money in our checking accounts to handle automatic obligations and cover our spending.  Gone are the days of keeping an eagle eye on that balance and robbing Peter to pay Paul and keep the bills paid and avoid overdraft fees that seemed to stress me out in my early years of marriage back in the 80’s.  Unfortunately, I had misguidedly decided about 10 years ago that I no longer needed to balance my checkbook.  Now, with so much free time on my hands, I decided that I would track our expenses in Quickbooks.      

    The process of entering our 2024 transactions led me to several interesting discoveries.  The subscription to Prime Video that I thought I canceled last fall was still being deducted.  We also discovered that funds were being taken from Scott’s account twice a month from Sirius XM radio.  Long story short, after two attempts, we were STILL paying for the vehicle I sold back in November.  I know, you’re welcome!  Hopefully, the third attempt to remove it is the charm. If I had taken the time to write down the date and time that I had talked to the representative the first time, I could have asked them to review the tapes and prove that I had asked the Traverse to be cancelled back in November.  As consumers, we need to use that “your call is being recorded for training purposes” to our advantage.  Thanks to my friend in customer service for that little tidbit!

    As most of you know, I sold my business back in October of 2023.  Ancient history; right?  Wish.  Last week I got a little “love letter” in the mail.  A delinquent tax notice with my name on it for property taxes on the property I no longer owned.  You know that I opened the notice on a Friday after five so I had all weekend to stew about it.  I could go into it but after several phone calls and a trip to the title office, I am washing my hands of it.   Everyone wants to prove to me that it’s not their fault and pass the buck.  More than once I was told that I shouldn’t worry about it; I can’t lose real estate for delinquent taxes when I don’t own the property. Great problem solving!

    That’s not all.  After nine months, the State is still processing the transfer of the liquor license.  Now they have decided that I never paid a fee back in 2019; so, the license can’t be transferred until that is paid.  Sure, let me just open up my bottomless pocket book for that too.  Wanting to be sure that the funds make it to the right hands, I asked for payment instructions.  They respond by sending me a credit card payment form and that I can fax the form back or mail it.   I guess writing a check is old school but faxing isn’t?

    Regardless of your income or ability, the average citizen is expected to have the minimum of a Smart phone and the ability to scan and email and text.  The medical world operates strictly on-line and I doubt that you can even receive financial aid if you don’t have a way to operate electronically.  At the same time the government is telling us that they only accept fax or snail mail.  Who even has a land line anymore let alone a fax machine?  Seriously.  

    I mean even using the phone to handle a problem is becoming archaic.  How many times do you sit on hold waiting for the representative while listening to the recording telling you that if you want better service, you should log on and handle your problem electronically?  Assuming you have gotten that far.  So many times, you get caught in a loop of AI; screaming your option choice with your blood pressure reaching dangerous levels.  Like speaking louder will solve your problems.  How often do we find ourselves needing a drink after just trying to call and conduct business?  You have to be a genius with patience of Job just to survive these days. 

    Even my hobbies lead to stress these days.  Being that I enjoy sewing; I decided to look into getting a commercial style machine so I can do some projects without having to pay an expert.  Maybe recover that ugly old couch in the basement that we can’t seem to part with.  I started shopping on Marketplace and found a good old machine in Indiana listed by a sweet old lady that was so anxious to sell that she was even going to teach me how to use it.  Luckily, I didn’t have access to a pick-up truck.  Today the same machine picture is used on a listing in Battle Creek by a different seller.  Who knows what would have happened to me if I had gone to look at it alone.  Damn scammers! 

    Speaking of.  Don’t you just feel all warm and fuzzy every time you get that friend request from the superhot retired service man who has been recently widowed and is looking to be your friend because he loves the review you posted three years ago for the local burger joint?  Seriously?  Impersonating a service person is unforgiveable.  Losers!! I’m tempted to waste their time and lead them on.  Tell them that I have millions in the bank and that I’m just looking for sex.  Sounds like fun but I’m pretty sure some how they would somehow manage to gain my personal information and I would end up the loser. 

    Scott & I might need to pack up and join the Mountain Men.  See if Eustace wants to sell us off a little parcel.  Live off the land; I can make our clothes and Scott can grow our food.  No computers or televisions to fill my head with garbage.  No politics.  Just fresh air and nature.  Unfortunately, that life style likely comes with bugs and mice; and no air conditioning.  That won’t work for this fluffy aging woman either. 

    I’m pretty sure that it’s the hot and humid weather that is causing my sour mood.   Maybe it’s retirement jitters.  Not having your life operate at 90 miles an hour makes you feel like you are just sitting around waiting for the next problem to raise its ugly head.  Let’s do lunch has a whole new meaning when all your friends are over an hour away. And even if you have all the time in the world, it doesn’t mean that others do.  Maybe feeling this way is normal for people after they have lived through life altering events.  Normal life is just boring after the shit storm is over.

    Flashback to when !*&% was simple

    Since I obviously don’t have the patience to return to the work force, I guess I will have to ask Meta AI how to cope.  Reminding me; the other day Scott and I were talking about the 5 Love Languages.  Ok, yes, I was talking at him about the 5 Love Languages; refreshing his memory.  Sure enough, the next time I was on Facebook, I had something in my feed referring to them.  Scary. 

    There’s plenty more of the same but I’ve exceeded my word limit for the day.  Don’t feel sorry for me.  I’ve made it to 60 without medication; I’ll get through it.  Let this be the distraction you needed from your own problems.  Know that the lives of your seemingly perfect Facebook friends aren’t perfect either.  Laugh.  Like everything before it, it will pass.  Things will work out; it’s just another chapter in What Doesn’t Kill You Girl Makes You Stronger!   

  • Working Weekends

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    I’ve been AWOL again.  As a follow-up; it took a month but my mouth is finally healed and I can eat anything again.  Sadly, even a month of liquid diet followed by soft food didn’t lead to any weight loss.  Retirement and writing aren’t exactly working like I had planned.  My creative writing streaks seem to be few and far between.  Usually, my time on Lake Superior sets the creative juices flowing but this time we were too busy for that.    

    As I have written, the property in Canada is a treasured investment made by Scott’s grandfather nearly 100 years ago.  While the heirs, ourselves included, have all concentrated our lives around caring for our families and maintaining our own personal properties, the cabins have been aging; patiently awaiting the day we would have time to show them some love.  Some years, such as the COVID years when Americans were not allowed to enter Canada, the critters have been the only ones to vacation there; leaving their mark like a bunch of unruly children.  As Scott and I entered full retirement, we were looking forward to spending an extended amount of time there getting the place cleaned up and tackling some of the long-needed projects.    After all, when you only had a week there for vacation, who wanted to spend it working or cleaning?

    As excited as we were to get this party started, it wasn’t without sadness.  It was only last fall, that Scott and I had the opportunity to spend time with his cousin Jeff A and his wife.  The property allows you to live more like neighbors; enjoying morning coffee or meals as you wish but still having your own private space.  Successful career people; they too had just retired.  Jeff actually having the same blood disorder that had led to Scott’s stem cell transplant; essential thrombosis.  Luckily his was still successfully controlled by medication.  We had a great time with them and had plans for doing much more of it in the coming years.  Unfortunately, life took a turn in April and Jeff was killed in a skid loader accident at his home.  Leaving a huge hole in not only the heart of his high school sweetheart bride but his friends and family as well.  Taking out the chief operating officer of the family cabin.  Rest assured; Scott and I are committed to seeing his work continued.  Not a day went by that we didn’t silently look for his guidance or ask ourselves, what would Jeff have done? Gone but not forgotten for sure.      

    A glimpse at the old kitchen

    Going into this year, priority one was the kitchen in the original cabin.  After obtaining a practically new kitchen for the other cabin a couple years ago for free, expectations were high.  That new kitchen clearly outshined the old cabin’s kitchen, leading people to decide that a facelift was due for the old cabin kitchen.  Change is never easy and gaining “authorization” to tear out the old kitchen didn’t come without its challenges.  Looking like something that Aunt Jemima, herself would have cooked in, the kitchen held many memories of baking bread on the old wood stove, baking pies and frying up bacon and Batchawana fries in one of the ten cast iron frying pans proudly displayed on the cabin walls.  But it was time. 

    Scott, frequently surprising me with what I consider his off the wall ideas, phoned the local home improvement store with a question.  When you tear out old kitchens, what do you do with the old ones?  The gentleman responded that they typically just end up in the dumpster.  So, Scott, asked – what would it take to get one of them for our family cabin?  “Paul” indicated that actually they were tearing out a fairly nice kitchen in a couple weeks and if we wanted to, we could come look at it.  If we liked it, we could have it.  For free.  Again?  Well; I was sure that was too good to be true.  I had a wait and see attitude. 

    Sure enough, on the exact date, Scott’s phone rang and next thing I knew we were hooking up the enclosed trailer; on our way to look at this kitchen.  Peering into the fully loaded box truck, it seemed that this kitchen was slightly worn but certainly still had a few good years left on it.  We unloaded the entire truck complete with sink and countertops.  Lesson learned; it never hurts to ask!

    May 19th, we headed North, loaded for bear, you might say.  I would say that Scott had everything but the kitchen sink in our truck and trailer but we literally did have the kitchen sink with us.  Armed with tools and supplies we were both excited to tackle this much-awaited kitchen project, among many others.  Arrangements were made with our amazing neighbors to keep the lawn mown and the birds fed, heading out for our first extended period North.  Friends and family members were scheduled to join us over the allotted time span. 

    When we weren’t working, we were “entertaining”.  Fishing with our guests, playing cards and eating.  The fishing wasn’t that great but since we basically only do catch and release, I’m not sure it matters.  It’s all about taking in the scenery and spending time with people we either know and love or in some cases don’t know as well as maybe we should and getting to know them better.  We relaxed and laughed over cocktails; bonfires on the river bank after a hard day’s work.  Good thing food service is my passion. Scott was good for a few breakfasts and cousin Jeff O provided a mean chili but for the most part I was in charge of meals.   Oh, and brother Dan’s pea meal bacon breakfast was yummy too. 

    For three weeks, we were in heaven.  The views were perfect and the weather was perfect; other than the pesky mosquitos and black flies, it couldn’t have been much better.  Not only were we loving our location, we had purpose.  As two people working through early retirement, we found great pleasure in having something to do.  Sure, retirement sounds great and is envied by most, in reality, it can leave you feeling a little unproductive most times.  Lacking purpose.  We worked like dogs and it was invigorating.  I don’t think I took Melatonin once while we were there.  No better sleep aid than just working and being tired at the end of the day. 

    It took a couple days for us to figure out that if I was working alongside the guys on projects, that we couldn’t just stop working and expect a hot delicious meal to be waiting for us when we arrived “home” at the other cabin.  Eventually I figured out how to do both.  In hindsight, I found great joy in providing sustenance for our guests, but I would have appreciated a little more help with the dishes.  For the most part, once Bonnie left, I was pretty much on my own.  We might need to add a dishwasher to the wish list.  It’s hard to complain about washing dishes while gazing out at Lake Superior but one might argue that being out there would be even better.       

    Chinking; doesn’t it look like fun?

    While it might be true that you can’t teach an old dog a new trick, you can learn new things after sixty if you are open to it.  After Cousin Bill appeared a little bored with his job of chinking the cabin walls, I decided that learning a new skill might be more pleasurable than spending the rest of the day pulling nails out of the hardwood floor.  Like Tom Sawyer and fence painting; he graciously agreed to let me apprentice him.  For the unknowing, mortar chinking is the “art” of applying a layer of mortar between the rounded logs with the purpose of keeping the elements and critters out.  It takes effort to not make a mess on the logs and get it looking nice.  Crazy as it seems, I found it rather enjoyable and I think I have a future in the trade as it seems as a never-ending process in the life of a log cabin.  After mixing 240# of concrete mix and applying, we have only just begun.      

    Returning home, I think we were both a little saddened to have our productivity come to an end.  Somehow sewing and practicing Spanish isn’t quite as rewarding as physical work.  It’s good for the heart and soul and a lot healthier than sitting on the couch writing.  Luckily, I have time for both.  I just have to commit to making it happen.

    A view of the final product; not bad for a bunch of novices

  • Torus Mandibularis

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    April 26th Observation #7 –  Pain Sucks at any age.

    Yesterday was my surgery to remove mandibular tori (un-necessary bones) in my mouth that had grown to be a big nuisance.   It seems that 7-10% of the population have them; but in most cases, they can exist without any issues.  Mine were to the point of making eating difficult; large enough in the bottom of my mouth that food would get stuck underneath them; giving me a choking sensation.  In researching, I learned that they would cut around the back of my lower teeth and peal back the skin to expose the bones, saw them out and replace the skin and stitch it back down.  Same for the growth on the outer side of my right molars.  Follow that with pain, swelling and a liquid diet for the recovery period. Needless to say, nothing any one really wants to think about having done but in my case, highly recommended.  Full recovery could take up to 4 weeks depending on the individual.   Lovely.    

    The source of the problem

    After years of procrastination, I finally found a specialist and scheduled my surgery. This was back in early 2022; before Scott got sick.  As the date got closer, it turned out that Scott’s stem cell transplant got scheduled for the same week so there was no way I could do it.  Rescheduling each time meant a 6-8 month wait and I have been postponing it like this since then.  Each time letting it make me more nervous than the time before. 

    Thursday, April 25th was the day.  As our luck would have it, Scott came back from the funeral Saturday with a bug.  If it’s there, he will catch it.  I immediately began to quarantine; I could not reschedule this surgery yet again.  Doing that would certainly cause me to say it just wasn’t supposed to happen.  I would cancel for good and deal with the occasional issues.  Between Zicam and keeping my distance, I managed to ward off his cold.  Mother-in-law Bonnie offered up her shuttle service so I had a ride. 

    I can’t explain or remember when it happened but some where along the way I had managed to squash my fears and take the mindset of calm.  Maybe it came from starting chair yoga this year.  Rather than losing sleep and making myself sick with worry I just blocked it out.  I was just going in for a routine cleaning or something; nothing to worry about.  No big deal.  This was particularly difficult as we sat in the waiting room for an hour.  Not only is Bonnie a good driver; she is punctual. 

    The team came in on schedule.  The nurse was new and seemed uncomfortable doing the IV so the doctor did it.  It was actually rather painful so I joked that he wasn’t exactly off to a good start; with a 7 out of 10 on the IV.  My biggest fear was waking up as they were sawing away.  I told him I was willing to forget the bad IV as long as he didn’t mess up the rest of it.  I wanted all the sleepy drugs they could give.  Luckily that part was a 10 of 10.  I remember looking around a couple times but never felt a thing. 

    The surgery concluded around the 2-hour mark as they estimated and after picking up some prescription mouthwash my driver had me home.  At this point, the pain was manageable with Tylenol and Advil and I wasn’t starving yet.  I’ll take that one day at a time too.  Que sera, sera.

    The point of my story is that I think with age, can come calmness or peace.  Throughout life, we spend a lot of time worrying about things we can’t change or fix immediately.  As we age, I think we realize that these things are going to happen whether we worry about them or not.  If my younger self only had the wisdom to let it go and take things one day at a time, maybe I wouldn’t have a head of completely gray hair!

    Post-script on Day 7. 

    Post-op day one found me doing alright.  Killing it actually.  Writing stories.  I can do this.  This girl’s a rock star! Then enter post-op day number 2.  Now, who has a bad cold?  Yup, coughing until you think you will pass out. A stuffy nose.  Sinus drainage scorching down my already badly beaten tongue.  Just what I needed.  Not only do I feel like someone has been swinging me around by my tongue, I have to cough; rattling my teeth to my toes.  Wheezing like I swallowed a choir of small children. Alternating Tylenol and Ibuprofen every two hours and providing little to no relief.  I might have even tried some other drugs with little success.  Day 3 and 4 are pretty much the same.  My glands are so swollen under my chin that my neck feels as big as my thigh; if you can picture that!  So, heat on the under-chin and ice on the face.  Stitches are tied around my bottom teeth; l might just launch a new fashion trend; it looks so bad ass.   Enflamed glands and a swollen tongue provide enough pain that I can’t even tell that my teeth hurt too. 

    I break down and call in on Monday only to find out that they still really don’t want to give me anything for the pain.  Reminiscent of when Scott had so much pain and they wouldn’t give him anything.  My cold is obviously hindering the healing process and they don’t think that pain killers will fix that.  Hang in there; it’ll get better they say.  I’ve learned to spoon soft foods onto my tongue and let it slide down.  Between mashed potatoes and protein shakes, I’m not starving yet.  But that reminds me.  I don’t think I’ve had any movement since the surgery.  Eating little or nothing, I forgot all about it.  Now suddenly it’s day six and it’s a problem that needs attention.  So, I take a couple Dulcolax and wait.  Six or eight hours and nothing; better take just one more.   

    I’ll save you all the details but I’m sure you are anticipating this correctly.  After the cork is popped, it doesn’t stop there.  Sign me up for a colonoscopy; I’m ready for that now too.  In a weak attempt to cheer me up the other day, my friend reminded me that “at least you aren’t having to miss work”.   True; I can sit around for a week doing nothing but grimace in pain without even feeling guilty.  Which that itself is a major life change for me.  I’ve never been able to sit still, and here I am; sitting still on Day 7.  To add insult to injury, even after the unintended bowel cleanse; I have only lost five pounds.  While this experience is far from being funny; this is certainly fodder for my mantra of what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.  You can’t make this up.  And it would make great material for my favorite comedian Leanne Morgan too.  Maybe I’ll friend her on Facebook.  Right after I google home remedies for a sore tongue.  Yikes!  On second thought, that’s probably a bad idea.  I might better just go back to sucking ice cubes and watching Love Is Blind.  Living the dream.

    The oriole feeder awaits a returning guest and I anxiously await a return to normalcy.

  • Where have I been?

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    I can’t believe I haven’t written since late January.  Being retired and all, I had thought I would do nothing but write.  It turns out that writer’s block is a real thing.  I can’t imagine the stress of deadlines and such that come with being a full-time writer. 

    A rare quiet day in the pool with Tal and Cindy

    During my unplanned writing hiatus, we enjoyed a 10-day get away to the Dominican Republic in February.   Again, we found the people there very friendly and enjoyed great food, fun and sun.  We met some new friends and enjoyed time with our existing friends.  Despite our age, things got a little crazy a couple different days. A few bumps and bruises but luckily no broken bones that we know of. Our new friend Ken did some lasting damage to the bushes out front of the resort but some how avoided bludgeoning himself in the process.

    March found us in Florida for three weeks.  We checked the Grand Ole Opry off my bucket list on the way down and enjoyed food and drink at our favorite watering holes.  Our two-week stay in an Airbnb included a short visit from my kids.  Our first and hopefully not the last family vacation since my kids have been married. Unfortunately, it also found Scott and I both sick in bed for a few days as well.  Still, we managed a few trips to the local beaches and fun outings with more friends.  For over 40 years now I have shared my birthday with a close friend and we have gone to dinner at Red Lobster for many of those years.  This year we had the pleasure of doing it in Florida.  We returned home in time to attend the wedding of Scott’s niece on my birthday weekend. We didn’t have a party for my 60th but are still talking about having something when it warms up.

    Pool party with friends in Florida, minus Scott on this particular day.

    As the weeks have gone by, my friends started asking when I was going to write again.  I started writing some mini-bites on Facebook entitled 60 things I wish I knew before turning 60.  I’ve decided to carry that over to my blog.  Hopefully this new twist will keep you entertained as we live day to day in our post-stem cell transplant life.  We continue to learn new things and have come to the conclusion that while he is over the worst of it, it will be in our lives forever.  He catches every cold or sickness that comes around and more often than not he’s bowing out on activities or taking nap breaks.  Since the new year, I think we have had maybe 3-4 weeks where he or we were not battling some type of cold or flu.  We plan things with the understanding that there is a fifty-fifty chance that we will be able to do it when the time comes.  We are both working through the challenges of his new personality.  I can no longer accurately anticipate his wants and needs as his opinions and thought processes are not the same as they were.  Yet we continue to push onward.  Speaking of moving forward, here are a couple of my first observations of being over 60.    

    In no particular order, Observation #1.  Had I only known I could spend a Wednesday with friends, old and new; reliving our childhood days of 4-H and more. Sewing bears for charity. Followed by a visit to see my Granddaughter (and parents). I could get used to this.

    Observation #2: I’ve remembered that I love to sew. Little did I know that the little gadget on the left would be my new best friend! Fellow seamstresses will know what it is!

    My friend Cynthia is an avid quilter and is always working on some type of charity project.  Never looking for credit; I hope that her community appreciates all she does.  Her latest project came out of selling her quilts and other hand-made gifts at craft shows in Florida.  A lady was admiring her teddy bears and asked if she ever gave them to firefighters or police to hand out to children involved in accidents and fires.  She thought about it a while but decided she already had enough charity projects on her plate.  The next show the narrative was almost the same.  This time the lady added that if she wanted to do that, she had a lot of fabric that she would donate to her.  Any sewing person knows that no one says no to free fabric.  Cyn was telling me about her idea and had planned to make it a 4-H project this coming fall.  I thought it sounded like a really fun project and told her if she wanted to get a head start that I would love to help out. 

    She contacted her sister and her cousin and the four of us met for a day of sewing and comradery.  We had a great lunch and along with our finished bears, we took home some cut and ready to finish up before our next meeting.  I had thought that the bears were cute, but after creating one myself I realized it’s much more than making a bear, it’s like birthing a little being.  I’ve since made five for myself and three for the project.  I’ve run out of batting and eyes so until my Amazon order arrives, I’m at a stand-still.   I’ve also learned that in my quest to sew and use up my stash of fabric in the cedar chest, it’s taking a good deal of additional expense to use all those stored crafting supplies.  I might have been better off to just toss the stuff out! 

    Not only does using all this fabric require new coordinating fabric and project supplies, it’s required some new tools.  Since the eyes aren’t what they used to be, I first had to find a need threader.  Luckily, I had a couple of them in my stash; never dreaming that I would actually ever get to the point of needing them.  Another necessary tool was better lighting.  No longer able to see details after daylight ends, I got myself an Ott Lite with the magnifying feature.  It’s amazing the difference that good lighting makes.  If you are on the fence, just buy one.     

    Right now, I think that Amazon is getting the bulk of our retirement earnings.  Parts for the square body truck, woodworking tools, sewing notions and supplies, they have it all.  Luckily Scott and I are keeping our spending at a pretty level pace so neither can complain about the other.  All things we didn’t include in our retirement budget so we probably need to revisit that with our financial advisor.  It’s amazing to see the price tags on all those things in my craft supply drawers and compare them to today’s pricing.  With today’s prices; had I retired earlier, perhaps JoAnn Fabrics wouldn’t be filing for bankruptcy.    

    My new babies. These guys might be filling the hole left by the passing of our dog. They do shed a little but they don’t require feeding or get me up during the night. There are several more in the works.

  • Golden Girls 2.024-1

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    Winter has arrived!  Time to get out of Michigan if you can.  For as long as I can remember, I have been one of those people that take leaving on vacation to the extreme.  Washing every piece of clothing I own, running the dishwasher at the very last minute and cleaning the refrigerator.  Guaranteeing that if I were to not make it home, my family would at least find a clean house.  In addition to a cleaning frenzy; there has always been 101 things I needed to do to cover my job(s).  Usually leading me to question whether being gone for a few days was really going to be worth all the work it took to get there.  Not to mention the agony of playing catch-up when you return.  Sound familiar?

    I just enjoyed a week in the Florida Keys with four other retired women.  I must say it was very different from my previous vacations.  For one thing, I only had to worry about myself.  That itself was pretty nice after the last two years.  I also had a limited number of things to do beforehand.  With the business sold, I still prepared my final 941, W-2’s and 1099’s before I left but no more worries about customers, ordering, scheduling and payroll.  Excellent!  I did all the laundry but left the dishes and refrigerator since Scott was staying home.  Baby steps.   

    Friday arrived and the adventure began with the alarm went off at 2:30 a.m. The flight to Miami, then to Key West was originally scheduled to leave at 9:00 a.m. but was pushed up to 6:00 a.m. to avoid the threat of the incoming storm of the year.  Two gals had booked a different flight stopping first in Chicago.  The airline decided against flying into the eye of the storm and rerouted to Newark; with the change leaving one of my girls in the dust and one on the new flight arriving in Key West five hours later than me.  So much for planning.  I think it was then that I realized that I wasn’t going to worry about it.  I would get there when I got there and there was no reason to fret – I was retired.  Even better, if we were unable to return because of the storms, that didn’t matter either.  We were all retired!

    Ultimately, two of them picked me up at the airport and the other arrived only an hour or so after me.  Sadly, our fifth gal didn’t have it so easy.  She made it out the next afternoon but after several delays her plane left Grand Rapids at the same time her connecting flight to the Keys was leaving from Newark.  The plus-side was a comped hotel room with food and drink vouchers.  She finally arrived on Sunday.  Let the party begin!

    4 of the 5 Golden Girls 2.024-1 Rocking our colorful cover-ups

    Vacationing as an “elder” being, is much like vacationing as a toddler.  Rising early; eating, swimming, napping, eating some more.  Then going to bed early.  And after consuming copious amounts of liquids throughout the day; getting up during the night to use the bathroom.   We enjoyed the sun rising through the palm trees over the channel, followed by breakfast prepared by our hostess’s husband.  Her newest grandchild and his parents joined us for breakfast and provided us with lots of time to soak up all the joy that a baby can bring to a room full of grandmothers.  Eventually shedding our vacation “mu-mu’s” for swimsuits and hitting the pool. 

    Being January, it was still a little cooler there.  We ended up with two good sun tanning days.  That’s still two more than they had at home.  We had lots of laughs.  Most of them at our own expense.  Imagine five mature women with similar “generous” builds.  All with shades of hair ranging from golden blond to grey; all bobbing in the pool.  Hoping that a little water aerobics would zero out the snacks and beverages we seemed to have in front of us at all times.  Enter the baby.  We all go bobbing to the other end of the pool to welcome him. Talking baby talk, all vying for his attention in hopes of being the first to bring a smile to his face or hear him giggle.   This is where we are at.  We joked that when he is old enough to go to the zoo or aquarium, he will be asking where the tank of old ladies is!  Maybe you had to be there; but it was funny. 

    My special friend Ellen with one of her precious grandbabies

    Along with the daily struggles of what bathing suit will I wear today was the need for lists.  Remember back when you used to make lists of things you had to do?  Or lists of great ideas that you want to develop into reality some day when life slowed down?  Those aren’t the lists we were making.  We actually took pen to paper for our grocery list.  Call it pride, but we couldn’t bring ourselves to write down our second list.  You know the one – hey when you go in the house – can you bring me……. With beverages and such happening, it was only a matter of time before someone had to dry off and go upstairs to the bathroom or refill a beverage or snack tray.  We probably managed half of what we went in for and passed the responsibility on to the next person.  CRS is real at this stage of life.   But it’s vacation, so who cares. 

    Another challenge with traveling with five mature ladies is the ever-present reality that one of us has to sit in the way back.  And more importantly, be able to extract themselves when we get to our next location.  As the youngest, that fell to me a few times and I was grateful to have been doing chair yoga since the new year.   I won’t even go into the exorbinate amount of time it took us to get ready to load up and go any where. I think they call it herding cats? 

    Participants weathered additional scheduling changes but as before, we all made adjustments and carried on.  In between eating and swimming we did some shopping and took a couple boat rides.  We ended our trip with a stay in a hotel on the beach in South Miami.  Probably not something I would recommend unless you can stay up past 9 p.m. to enjoy the night life. What they get for those rooms is crazy but it was an fun experience and we can say we did it. 

    My greatest blunder happened during the last leg of the journey.  After about 30 minutes in the TSA line, I decided it was time to pull out my electronic boarding pass.  A method I never use because my phone is typically dead every time I really need it.  With no printer in our hotel room, I decided it was time to make sure my phone was fully charged and give technology a try.  Live on the edge.  And fall off the cliff.  As you are probably surmising, my phone was no where to be found.  I exit the line and tear apart my bag, frantically looking for my phone.  Nothing.  A lady offered to call me; we heard nothing.  Hopefully the girls would hear it ringing in the back seat and realize that I had left it.  I decide to try and print a boarding pass with my passport.  Nope, can’t do it without your flight confirmation code.  So off to join the check-in lane.  With the whole world gone electronic, I realize there are no clocks in the airport. I guess knowing the time won’t speed up the line any way. Retrospectively, I was pretty chill for someone who didn’t have a phone to communicate with anyone and was most likely going to miss their flight.  Partly due to the fact that I never saw the notification that the flight was moved up and we had gotten there late to boot.  Now had I also lost my glasses and passport; that would have been a much different story. 

    I finally made it to the front of the line and explained that I had lost my phone and therefore also my boarding pass.  She cheerfully reported that she could print one since I had my identification.  Perfect.  Then she pulls up my flight.  She makes an interesting face and says “You do know that your flight leaves at 12:25?”  Well that might be but, still, here I am.  What do you suggest?    Good news was that I wasn’t planning on checking a bag and it was too late any way.  She quickly scanned the room and said – follow me.  She rounded the service counter and briskly walked me over to the front of the TSA line and told them that I had to go – now.  She adds, “After you’re through TSA, take a left.  With the tram down, it’s a bit of a hike. If you keep moving, hopefully you will make it.”  In my flip flops.  Perfect. Despite it all, I made it; and my phone arrived back in Michigan on Wednesday. It was of course promised to arrive by Monday. Again, not that it matters; I’m retired!   Que, Sera, Sera. I think it’s finally sinking in!  

  • Closing the Door on 2023

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    As another year comes to a close, I think it’s only natural to look at your life and figure out what you want to do differently next year.  Review what you accomplished and think about what the future brings.  It blows my mind to think that two workaholics have seemingly achieved happiness despite having nothing to do.  Pretty amazing what a brush with death can do.  Add to that; a case of COVID and two months later, still neither of us are feeling any too ambitious.  We started to feel better and headed to the Bahamas for a week after Thanksgiving Day.  I must say that if you can, you should.  It was the perfect time to get away for a little sun therapy; right before the busy holiday season. 

    The vacation shirt has now been to the Bahamas!

    We returned and I started my Christmas decorating.  That led to some minor redecorating in the living room to freshen things up a little.  Fearing I would miss cooking for hundreds of people like I have for the past six years, we did a little dinner party for Scott’s siblings and a few neighbors.  It was a real mix-up of age and personalities and it was great to see everyone mingling and in some cases reconnecting. 

    Having sold our business, it was important to send things over to the accountant for some tax planning and also meet with our financial advisor.  I still can’t believe that I am retired and that we should be able to sustain our desired life style until we turn 90 without depending on our children for financial help.  Conversely, we are not looking to hand them large sums of money at our death.  I say this not to brag but to encourage.  I didn’t have the funds or opportunity to save for retirement before the age of 30 and both Scott and I took considerable financial hits when divorcing at 50ish.  Yet by working hard and saving, we are in a position to do what we want to do for the remainder of our days and we were able to weather the storm of cancer.  Someone once told me; watch your pennies and the dollars will follow and I think this is sage advice. 

    Photo by Suzy Hazelwood on Pexels.com

    After 30 years of working with people on their finances, I can’t help but offer some unsolicited financial advice.  I encourage you all to set a goal for 2024.  First, follow Dave Ramsey’s advice and make sure you have put away 3-6 months of expenses in your emergency fund.  Then, choose a single item on your bucket list and figure out what it will take to do it.  Maybe it’s something that you can’t manage in 2024 but you can research and start saving for.  I think it was almost 20 years ago that my friends started taking annual vacations to Mexico.  I had school age children at the time so something like that seemed impossible.  Still, it was something I really wanted so I had to figure out how to make it happen.  At my next pay increase, I sent that increase to my new vacation fund.  I didn’t miss the money because I never had it.  I think it took 3 years to save for that first all-inclusive vacation.  When we returned, I immediately upped that draw to the vacation fund so we could go every other year.  You get the picture; make a plan and make it happen!   One thing for sure; if you don’t plan it, it won’t happen. 

    Speaking of money, we (ok I) decided that I wasn’t going to run around spending money on things that I thought the kids would like. No matter the time and effort put into these purchases; reality is these items were likely going home to sit in a closet or be instantly put in the Goodwill box.  To fill the time usually spent oohing and awing over such gifts, Scott and I created some fun games and this year we launched the first annual Christmas Olympics.  Games included Christmas song trivia, a shooting game, family feud, ring toss and whiffle ball toss.  Money typically used for the useless gifts, was used to fund prizes for the games.  Overall, I’m happy with how it went and we already have ideas for next year’s games.

    Like so many, our greatest source of pride is our children.  What makes it even better is knowing that we can have Christmas with all our kids at the same time and they enjoy each other’s company.  Seeing all four adult children and their spouses sharing laughs together is priceless.  Now adding to that are the grandchildren.  My son’s daughter is a little more than two years old and she was quite the entertainer this year.  Announcing with each gift she received that she needed a knife to open the box.  I’m currently in the market for a plastic pocket knife; but like Scott said, she won’t be happy with anything less than the real thing.  Like all grandparents, I’m pretty sure she is much smarter than her peers.  They also announced that she will be graduating to big sister next year so we have that to look forward to.  At almost five months, Scott’s son’s little man just sat around smiling and looking cute in between feedings.  I think it’s safe to say that everyone had a great time and certainly no one left hungry.  I still can’t believe that while we took individual pictures, we didn’t remember to take a group photo.  Unfortunately, I think that would have been as successful as herding cats at the time.    

    The Christmas long weekend included several stops and seemed like one never-ending feeding frenzy.  As we work our way through all the remaining goodies; cookies, Chex Mix, both purchased and home-made caramel corn and chocolates, the panic sets in.  Eventually this needs to stop.  Reading my mind, my Facebook feed is full of ads for the newest Keto weight loss gummies.  Waking with nothing on the docket again today, I decide to look into the claims of all these no effort weight loss options.  I need to find out, did Pfizer really develop this new miracle drug that was brought to life on Shark Tank and seemingly endorsed by so many, including superstar Kelly Clarkson?

    Despite every third item in my Facebook feed being an ad or article about these amazing new gummies, nothing on YouTube or Google verifies that any of it is true.  I watched the episode of the Today Show where she supposedly came out about her weight loss secrets; only to learn that she never mentioned how she lost the weight and clearly never credited the Keto gummies.  Most clips about Kelly Clarkson related to weight loss are from five years ago.  I found nothing to verify that they were discovered on Shark Tank either.   I did find a few episodes of Dr. Oz that talk about weight loss but none promote these miracle Keto gummies. 

    Was my research a total waste of time?  Time will tell.  It did lead me to some weight management tools that I’m willing to check out but more importantly reminded me that social media is such a dangerous thing.  Whether we are lured into on-line games that either suck our time or money, or believing that people are living the dream lives they like to post on social media; we need to make sure we are keeping all this in perspective.  I found little to no truth to the claims I was being bomb-barded with on Facebook; showing just how easy it is to manipulate information.  Very few people have the time or inclination to step back and do a little fact checking.   Sadly, so many sit glued to their phones, believing what they read and feeling like they are failing in comparison. 

    Scott & I with the Grands; 493 days post stem cell transplant

    Rather than trying to keep up with the Jones’s; focus on what is most important to you.  As I look back over the past few weeks, I find pleasure in thinking about the opportunities Scott and I gave to others to enjoy food and fellowship.  The amount of laughter shared with our good friends.  My greatest gift was a hand-written letter written from my son.  These are the memories I will take with me into the next year.  One of the greatest advantages of retirement is being able to choose who you spend time with and greatly limiting the amount of time you have to spend with toxic people.   I’m excited to know that I’m starting 2024 spending a week in January with a great group of ladies in a beautiful place.  I’m sure there will be a lot of laughter and story-telling.  It feels pretty good to be know that my schedule will allow time for things that I have always wanted to do; even if I don’t yet know what they are.

  • Post COVID

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    As I reported a couple weeks ago, full retirement started with both Scott and I having COVID.  For us, COVID was body aches and a total exhaustion.  God’s way of changing my pace for the coming years.  I’ve done almost nothing for weeks and I’m ok with it.  I might even be able to get used to it.  Week four and I am recovered but Scott is still having some nasal congestion.  The doctor gave him an anti-biotic Monday just for good measure.  Never wanting to share our germs, I don’t think we’ve kissed in almost a month.  I know most of you don’t want to hear about it, but even at our age, I think we all need that kiss from our partners to keep that little pep in our step.  Maybe tomorrow!

    Me and My Golden Bachelor

    All this down time led to some observations.  First let me say that I’ve been trying to tell you.  It’s no surprise to me that the first Golden Bachelor is such a hit.  I’m disappointed that they seem to have found him 22 aged swim suit models.  Well, actually I think there were 21 – I remember one lady wore a jogging suit and she was gone on night one.  But reality is that as a society we are so vain that they had to have eliminated thousands of applicants that were “fluffy”.   I don’t see anyone in my daily travels in my small town that look like any of those mature yet beautiful ladies.  Keep in mind, Gerry lives in what I think is rural Indiana so access to Botox maintenance might be tricky to find. Yet who knows, the Amish might have an herbal therapy for that for all I know.  I wish him the best with whomever he chooses.  It was pretty funny when at least a couple of them admitted to having gas at least; and one actually was pretty proud of herself.  She’s got my vote for the 1st Golden Bachelorette. 

    I love how host Jessie seems to be so amazed to see and learn all about mature love.  While I don’t feel like the women are a fair sampling of the aging ladies out here in the real world, I do love that they were mostly kind to each other.  Even the resident “mean girl/lady” was fairly diplomatic about her complaints.  The feelings that they all expressed are so much like I felt when I was able to find the love of my life in my “advanced” years.  While I tried to get that information out via my blog, I’m glad that they were willing to do that show and spread the word that there is hope for love and happiness later in life. 

    It’s rare that we aren’t watching TV, browsing our i-pads or working on the computer. Complete waste of time.

    Secondly, retirement has inforced what I already knew. That social media is a total waste of time and truly an addiction.  I don’t even want to know the number of hours that I’ve spent the last month on Facebook, YouTube and games on my computer.   I know that my Facebook feed will be nothing but advertisements and repeatedly-shared quotes but yet I can’t stop myself from going back to see what’s new.  Scott is actually no better and who would have guessed that he would end up addicted to Facebook.  We may eventually need to hold a YouTube intervention for him. Luckily, so far, he has been able to learn a lot of useful skills that have expanded his woodworking abilities and he’s turning into quite the mechanic.  I’ll keep you posted if I end up needing help on that one.

    Thirdly, I feel like it’s been months since either of us have had a good night’s sleep. I’m beginning to wonder if aging makes this an impossible feat.  Between congestion, snoring and Scott’s secret desire to be a Kung Fu fighter, sleeping is near impossible.  My mild manner husband seems to find himself always in the middle of a confrontation including shouting and fighting – all in the middle of the night in his sleep.  So, after trying every trick in the book, I might finally fall asleep around 2 a.m.  Only to be suddenly awakened by a smack in the head, or a swift kick to the shins.  Try relaxing and falling asleep after that happens!  Funny – but not funny; scared to death to end up with a broken nose in the middle of the night I hug the edge of the bed, with my back to him.  Ugh!  We are hoping it’s medication related but who knows.  All this leaving us in a dilemma; I can’t sleep with him and he claims he can’t sleep without me.  What to do!    

    This week we are reminded that life has a way of calling the shots – ready or not.  Last weekend our neighbor fell, hit his head, had a heart attack and died.  He and his wife were living the second time around dream when it came crashing down; literally.  So sad.  Then Monday, we went to Scott’s appointments at Ann Arbor and were able to spend some time with a former customer and friend from Sunfield.  He and his bride are yet another example of finding love later in life when you didn’t see it coming.  Once they found each other, it was seemed so obvious and we all wondered – why didn’t someone see this a long time ago?  In the same way that they were able to find love together, she was taken from him Tuesday night after a rather short illness.  Continued evidence that we just need to live life to its fullest each day.  Not that we should throw financially responsibility to the wind, but there’s a lot of times you just need to take the plunge and book that bucket list vacation or make that phone call to the friend or family member you always mean to reach out to.   

    Conversely, retirement has its perks.  I’ve already gotten my turkey and stuffing purchased so I’m way ahead of the game.  Thanksgiving has always been my favorite holiday and I love cooking all the staples that go with the celebration.  I’m looking forward to taking a picture of Scott carving the turkey and seeing how much better he looks than last year at this time.  We booked a spur of the moment trip to the Bahamas. 

    We’re working on a date for Christmas with the kids which is a process.  When you have a blended family consisting of four married adult children with in-laws and company parties to work around.  I’m excited to be able to focus on our meal for ten adults now that catering is out of the picture.  No more planning Christmas meals for hundreds of people and all the shopping, planning and stress that goes with that.   Five years of that was enough.  I’m enjoying using my culinary skills on Scott and the family.  Today my house smells like garlic and onions as I made everything bagels with the help of my bread machine. 

    I can’t believe how easy it is to make your own bagels with the help of your bread maker.

    Tonight, we’re heading to Shipsie for country/rock concert.   Friday night we are hopefully FINALLY attending Silver Bells in Lansing.  A Christmas parade and the lighting of the tree at the State capital; something I have been wanting to attend for a few years now but we were always working.  Going into the holidays with more fun things on the calendar than doctors’ appointments is a pleasant change.  Now that we are feeling better, we will have to pace ourselves on eating out by coming up with a reasonable weekly budget for our meals out.  With us no longer eating most our meals out of take-out containers from the store, it’s a constant battle.  It seems like the dishwasher is always full; are they clean or dirty?  I can’t help but think of that corny advertisement where the old couple talks about doing it every night and groan.  Still as I load the dishwasher and hit the time delay button again, I can’t help but think it is seeing a lot more action than I am.   Sorry – as Kathy would say, I just need to ZIP IT!  Have a blessed week!

  • Exit Stage Right..

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    For those who have been following my stories, you know that my road to retirement has been a long one.  I’ve had more retirements than some people have jobs.  Back in 2014, leaving not only left a lucrative career as an ag loan officer after 20 years but packing up and moving to Southwest Michigan to begin a new life with a new last name.   The future was full of hearts and rainbows and happily ever-after.

    Fast forward to August 1, 2022; when I left my job at Dairy Farmers of America after only six years of service.   We had been given the green light to retire by our financial advisor the year before but it didn’t seem right at the time.  I wasn’t ready.  However, less than a year later I found myself leaving a career I was very competent at to learn more about the medical field than I had cared to.  Ten days after retiring, Scott and I moved into U of M for his stem cell transplant; hoping to put this rare form of blood cancer behind us once and for all.      

    Last year at this time we were hanging out at our home away from home after weeks in the hospital.

    By May of 2023, and over $1 million dollars’ worth of medical treatments later; Scott was feeling very good.  We decided that our desire to spend time together was more important than the rare moments of bliss resulting from owning my own business.  The prospect of change in our little village led to quite a buzz and allowed the store to basically sell itself in a matter of days.  Would the new owners continue to make fried chicken?  Everyone wanted to be guaranteed that everything would stay the same.  I’ll admit that while I was anxious to see it go, selling it caused a different kind of anxious.  Knowing that I had continued the most the traditions that John had built in his 32 years of ownership meant that we had maintained consistent product offerings for nearly 40 years and with that came pressure.

    Despite heartfelt attempts to convince me that they were the right people for the job, my apprehension was getting the best of me.  Would the new owners really keep things the same?  Attempts to communicate with the buyers throughout the process were squashed by the realtor.   After months of not daring to get excited about the end being in sight; we went from having a notice of approval to a closing in nine days; well technically, eight and a half days.  We fried chicken right to the end; the real estate closing was at 2 p.m. and my staff served customers until 2 p.m.  The new owners moved in “over-night” and opened the next morning.  I had agreed to help with the transition for four weeks, but it was clear very early on that my help wasn’t necessary.  Rather than training and providing guidance, I spent my final three weeks as an over-paid dish washer.  I’m not proud of it, but I chose to head for the hills rather than fulfill the last week of my commitment. Certainly not the first person to leave a job feeling irrelevant nor the last.

    Hard as I tried, my newly given mantra of “Not My Problem” wasn’t sinking in and I’m not sure when it will.  Having been with us through Scott’s illness, our customers and employees will always hold a special place in our hearts.  It will take more than a few days to let go of all the plans that never came to fruition there.   Time marches on and change happens. We roll with it or get rolled over.      

    For what I swear was my last retirement celebration, Tal and Cindy stepped up again and hosted in Tal’s new party barn.    Friday night.  The weather wasn’t great but the company was.  I actually returned home the next day to put in another four hours at the store; my last day on the schedule.  I left that day like any other, eager to go to the concert we had been planning on seeing for a few months.  Come Sunday morning we would be headed to Batchawana to begin our lives in full retirement.  Whoop! Whoop! 

    We headed out Sunday morning as planned.  All packed into Scott’s new ride.  Ready and excited to begin our first of many adventures in our newly unencumbered lives.  Despite the off and on rain, the drive was beautiful.  I’m not sure if fall colors get better with age or if we just appreciate them more each year, but this fall; they have been absolutely stunning.  We pull into the drive; and what to our wondering eyes should appear, but a tree down across the drive.  In a near sacrilegious move, Scott didn’t bring a chainsaw.  Nothing was going to dampen our moods.  We backed up and hit the road, headed to Wayne’s house in search of a chainsaw.  Thankfully, he and Mary were home and we grabbed the saw and headed back; anxious to get back and unpacked before darkness hit. 

    Dawn breaks on Monday and Scott is up before the sun.  So was I; but thankfully that was after 8 a.m.  We placed the new liquor cabinet and tackled a couple burn projects.  By mid-afternoon, Scott was developing a headache.  We figured that wasn’t all that shocking with the wood stove in the cabin and all the smoke from the clean-up.  Maybe we need a carbon monoxide detector in there?   What did we bring for drugs?  Well, he packed all his own pills and I grabbed an old bottle of Dayquil on the way out the door but I hadn’t planned on us getting sick.  That really wasn’t exactly part of my retirement fantasy. 

    So, as he sleeps his way through the supper hours, I begin to worry and start pouting.  Why can’t we have even a full day of rest, relaxation and happiness before reality smacks us in the face again.  I don’t think about all the great things in our life; our families and friends.  Our financial security.  I can only see the unfairness of the situation at hand.  I know I’ll be next; I just don’t know when.

    After barely any time awake Tuesday and Wednesday he felt good enough to help pack and load on Thursday morning so we took the opportunity and left for home.  Mid-way home, it was clear I was developing the same symptoms and it was only a matter of time before this plague had its way with me too.   Sure as shit, my first free Saturday in six years found me testing positive for COVID.  It’s a little difficult to focus on being glad it waited until I had some free time.   

    So, as I sat wallowing in my own self-pity, I started to feel a strange sensation in my nose and throat.   Yup, you guessed it – I was losing my taste and smell.  You would think that would make someone not want to eat.  Not me, I had to try everything just to see if I could taste it.  All the delicacies we brought back from our journey. Extremely burnt cinnamin raisen toast that I would never eat in a million yeras if it weren’t for the sake of science. Spicy, hot chili and creamy pumpkin whoopie pies.  Fresh squeezed apple cider and crispy fall apples.  The textures and temperatures were tantilizing but I was getting nothing on the flavor side.   I know some might want to disagree but I think this was my message from God.    A gentle reminder of what else he could take from me.  That this is only temporary and it could be so much worse.  To put on my big girl panties and suck it up.  Sit back and relax for just a few days. He still has many great things still planned for me; I just have to be patient.  Rome wasn’t built in a day and this is only week one of the rest of my life.