Posted first on April 19th

Some days you just have to really look to find the bright side.   You have to decide to celebrate the simple things; like getting the wood stove going with no kindling because you still need heat and it’s the middle of April.  For some, just having a bowel movement is enough to call it a good day.  I own a store; and I seem to be getting my fill of vendors and suppliers that don’t have products, try to pawn off their short-dated products on me or don’t bother to show up at all.  Prices are climbing rapidly.  You listen to people complain about their problems and you really just want to tell them what REAL problems are like.  You also notice that we live in a society where we continuously ask each other as a way of greeting – “How you doing?”  or “How’s your day going” and respond with “good” or “great” but think to yourself that your response couldn’t be further from the truth.  Lately it’s more like “I’m one step away from losing my shit on somebody but thanks for asking.”  😊  I continue to be amazed by the workings of our health care system.  I tried to renew Scott’s pills on Friday but was denied because it was too early; it didn’t run out until mid-Monday.  BUT they also have a rule that you have to allow them 48 hours to fill a script and the pharmacy isn’t open on Sunday.  I was told to send it back through on Monday morning and they would take care of it; but of course that didn’t happen.  I was finally able to pick it up today around 5 p.m. but after 24 hours on Tylenol rather than the script he was miserable all day.   Thankfully he still had his other pills but even going without one script right now is a problem.  Managing multiple scripts with 10-day refills and making sure he takes something or another every two hours 24 hours a day requires a spreadsheet.  Currently he takes at least 45 pills a day; more if he’s having a pain day.  What do people do that don’t know Excel?  But seriously, I think I’m going to start a campaign for prescription reform; this is totally ridiculous.   How many people are dying because of our existing laws?  How many suicides take place because people are honestly in pain and suffering and don’t feel heard or cared for?  Because they forgot their password or log-in for the tenth time and can’t manage the technology required to navigate the health care system.  Then add to that the fact that all health care facilities are over-booked and health care workers are over-worked.  It’s all the time spent dealing with red tape that prevents them from actually practicing medicine.   If I didn’t already have enough projects I wanted to pursue in my retirement, I now see a couple more causes I could make part of my next chapter.   Right now, I write to keep from imploding and regain focus so I can be the caregiver Scott needs me to be right now.   I apologize for the splattering!  I need to remember to be thankful for insurance and appreciate that we are enjoying a warm home because I did get the fire started. 

Post-script: Two days after this post, I went out to start the woodstove and found that someone had snuck in our drive and deposited a large amount of kindling in our woodstove shed. Miracles continue.