Little did I know that agreeing on a schedule with another retiree could require the same level of negotiation as balancing the national budget.

Ask anyone over sixty. Sleep is more elusive than ever, and men and women seem to operate on completely different time zones.

We just returned from a trip to the family property in Canada. While there, we were trying to coordinate a visit with friends.

“We could stop over for coffee in the morning,” Thurston suggested.

“Any time after six,” our friend replied.

His wife gave me a deer-in-the-headlights look and countered with, “What about ten?”

I’m with her. Even if I’m awake by then, why would I want to be dressed and socializing at six o’clock in the morning?

Maybe after lunch would be better? Then we had to compare nap schedules.

Retirement doesn’t eliminate scheduling conflicts. It just replaces meetings, school events and soccer practices with morning coffee, meals and naps.

Half the time, I feel like I’ve just gotten to sleep when Thurston flips on the hall light for his first bathroom call. Mine isn’t until around 4 a.m. Just as I drift back to sleep, Thurston gets a text from his brother — another up-before-dawn and asleep-by-eight kind of guy.

The Do Not Disturb feature is now permanently enabled on Thurston’s phone.

On days when you can’t get back to sleep, you tend to want an early start on your to-do list. The other morning, Thurston was frustrated because his call went straight to voicemail.

“Why aren’t they answering their phone?”

I gently reminded him that while it was a weekday, the business didn’t open for another two hours.

It’s nothing for Thurston to be ready for bed before 9 p.m.The problem is when it’s not even dark yet.  Last night I convinced him to stay up until 10 p.m., which in retirement time is apparently the equivalent of pulling an all-nighter. It wasn’t a text message that woke me up at 5:30 the next morning. It was a pesky mosquito. I fought off getting up until 6:30.

I like to give Thurston plenty of time to get the coffee ready.

After all, everyone likes to have purpose. Some of us just prefer to discover ours after sunrise.

We’re all aging.
Let’s do it out loud.

— Nora

*As published in The County Journal on June 20, 2026