Golden Girls 2.024-1

January 25, 2024January 25, 2024 / sfosas0211 / Leave a comment

Winter has arrived! Time to get out of Michigan if you can. For as long as I can remember, I have been one of those people that take leaving on vacation to the extreme. Washing every piece of clothing I own, running the dishwasher at the very last minute and cleaning the refrigerator. Guaranteeing that if I were to not make it home, my family would at least find a clean house. In addition to a cleaning frenzy; there has always been 101 things I needed to do to cover my job(s). Usually leading me to question whether being gone for a few days was really going to be worth all the work it took to get there. Not to mention the agony of playing catch-up when you return. Sound familiar?

I just enjoyed a week in the Florida Keys with four other retired women. I must say it was very different from my previous vacations. For one thing, I only had to worry about myself. That itself was pretty nice after the last two years. I also had a limited number of things to do beforehand. With the business sold, I still prepared my final 941, W-2’s and 1099’s before I left but no more worries about customers, ordering, scheduling and payroll. Excellent! I did all the laundry but left the dishes and refrigerator since Scott was staying home. Baby steps.

Friday arrived and the adventure began with the alarm went off at 2:30 a.m. The flight to Miami, then to Key West was originally scheduled to leave at 9:00 a.m. but was pushed up to 6:00 a.m. to avoid the threat of the incoming storm of the year. Two gals had booked a different flight stopping first in Chicago. The airline decided against flying into the eye of the storm and rerouted to Newark; with the change leaving one of my girls in the dust and one on the new flight arriving in Key West five hours later than me. So much for planning. I think it was then that I realized that I wasn’t going to worry about it. I would get there when I got there and there was no reason to fret – I was retired. Even better, if we were unable to return because of the storms, that didn’t matter either. We were all retired!

Ultimately, two of them picked me up at the airport and the other arrived only an hour or so after me. Sadly, our fifth gal didn’t have it so easy. She made it out the next afternoon but after several delays her plane left Grand Rapids at the same time her connecting flight to the Keys was leaving from Newark. The plus-side was a comped hotel room with food and drink vouchers. She finally arrived on Sunday. Let the party begin!

4 of the 5 Golden Girls 2.024-1 Rocking our colorful cover-ups

Vacationing as an “elder” being, is much like vacationing as a toddler. Rising early; eating, swimming, napping, eating some more. Then going to bed early. And after consuming copious amounts of liquids throughout the day; getting up during the night to use the bathroom. We enjoyed the sun rising through the palm trees over the channel, followed by breakfast prepared by our hostess’s husband. Her newest grandchild and his parents joined us for breakfast and provided us with lots of time to soak up all the joy that a baby can bring to a room full of grandmothers. Eventually shedding our vacation “mu-mu’s” for swimsuits and hitting the pool.

Being January, it was still a little cooler there. We ended up with two good sun tanning days. That’s still two more than they had at home. We had lots of laughs. Most of them at our own expense. Imagine five mature women with similar “generous” builds. All with shades of hair ranging from golden blond to grey; all bobbing in the pool. Hoping that a little water aerobics would zero out the snacks and beverages we seemed to have in front of us at all times. Enter the baby. We all go bobbing to the other end of the pool to welcome him. Talking baby talk, all vying for his attention in hopes of being the first to bring a smile to his face or hear him giggle. This is where we are at. We joked that when he is old enough to go to the zoo or aquarium, he will be asking where the tank of old ladies is! Maybe you had to be there; but it was funny.

My special friend Ellen with one of her precious grandbabies

Along with the daily struggles of what bathing suit will I wear today was the need for lists. Remember back when you used to make lists of things you had to do? Or lists of great ideas that you want to develop into reality some day when life slowed down? Those aren’t the lists we were making. We actually took pen to paper for our grocery list. Call it pride, but we couldn’t bring ourselves to write down our second list. You know the one – hey when you go in the house – can you bring me……. With beverages and such happening, it was only a matter of time before someone had to dry off and go upstairs to the bathroom or refill a beverage or snack tray. We probably managed half of what we went in for and passed the responsibility on to the next person. CRS is real at this stage of life. But it’s vacation, so who cares.

Another challenge with traveling with five mature ladies is the ever-present reality that one of us has to sit in the way back. And more importantly, be able to extract themselves when we get to our next location. As the youngest, that fell to me a few times and I was grateful to have been doing chair yoga since the new year. I won’t even go into the exorbinate amount of time it took us to get ready to load up and go any where. I think they call it herding cats?

Participants weathered additional scheduling changes but as before, we all made adjustments and carried on. In between eating and swimming we did some shopping and took a couple boat rides. We ended our trip with a stay in a hotel on the beach in South Miami. Probably not something I would recommend unless you can stay up past 9 p.m. to enjoy the night life. What they get for those rooms is crazy but it was an fun experience and we can say we did it.

My greatest blunder happened during the last leg of the journey. After about 30 minutes in the TSA line, I decided it was time to pull out my electronic boarding pass. A method I never use because my phone is typically dead every time I really need it. With no printer in our hotel room, I decided it was time to make sure my phone was fully charged and give technology a try. Live on the edge. And fall off the cliff. As you are probably surmising, my phone was no where to be found. I exit the line and tear apart my bag, frantically looking for my phone. Nothing. A lady offered to call me; we heard nothing. Hopefully the girls would hear it ringing in the back seat and realize that I had left it. I decide to try and print a boarding pass with my passport. Nope, can’t do it without your flight confirmation code. So off to join the check-in lane. With the whole world gone electronic, I realize there are no clocks in the airport. I guess knowing the time won’t speed up the line any way. Retrospectively, I was pretty chill for someone who didn’t have a phone to communicate with anyone and was most likely going to miss their flight. Partly due to the fact that I never saw the notification that the flight was moved up and we had gotten there late to boot. Now had I also lost my glasses and passport; that would have been a much different story.

I finally made it to the front of the line and explained that I had lost my phone and therefore also my boarding pass. She cheerfully reported that she could print one since I had my identification. Perfect. Then she pulls up my flight. She makes an interesting face and says “You do know that your flight leaves at 12:25?” Well that might be but, still, here I am. What do you suggest? Good news was that I wasn’t planning on checking a bag and it was too late any way. She quickly scanned the room and said – follow me. She rounded the service counter and briskly walked me over to the front of the TSA line and told them that I had to go – now. She adds, “After you’re through TSA, take a left. With the tram down, it’s a bit of a hike. If you keep moving, hopefully you will make it.” In my flip flops. Perfect. Despite it all, I made it; and my phone arrived back in Michigan on Wednesday. It was of course promised to arrive by Monday. Again, not that it matters; I’m retired! Que, Sera, Sera. I think it’s finally sinking in!

Closing the Door on 2023

December 30, 2023 / sfosas0211 / Leave a comment

As another year comes to a close, I think it’s only natural to look at your life and figure out what you want to do differently next year. Review what you accomplished and think about what the future brings. It blows my mind to think that two workaholics have seemingly achieved happiness despite having nothing to do. Pretty amazing what a brush with death can do. Add to that; a case of COVID and two months later, still neither of us are feeling any too ambitious. We started to feel better and headed to the Bahamas for a week after Thanksgiving Day. I must say that if you can, you should. It was the perfect time to get away for a little sun therapy; right before the busy holiday season.

The vacation shirt has now been to the Bahamas!

We returned and I started my Christmas decorating. That led to some minor redecorating in the living room to freshen things up a little. Fearing I would miss cooking for hundreds of people like I have for the past six years, we did a little dinner party for Scott’s siblings and a few neighbors. It was a real mix-up of age and personalities and it was great to see everyone mingling and in some cases reconnecting.

Having sold our business, it was important to send things over to the accountant for some tax planning and also meet with our financial advisor. I still can’t believe that I am retired and that we should be able to sustain our desired life style until we turn 90 without depending on our children for financial help. Conversely, we are not looking to hand them large sums of money at our death. I say this not to brag but to encourage. I didn’t have the funds or opportunity to save for retirement before the age of 30 and both Scott and I took considerable financial hits when divorcing at 50ish. Yet by working hard and saving, we are in a position to do what we want to do for the remainder of our days and we were able to weather the storm of cancer. Someone once told me; watch your pennies and the dollars will follow and I think this is sage advice.

After 30 years of working with people on their finances, I can’t help but offer some unsolicited financial advice. I encourage you all to set a goal for 2024. First, follow Dave Ramsey’s advice and make sure you have put away 3-6 months of expenses in your emergency fund. Then, choose a single item on your bucket list and figure out what it will take to do it. Maybe it’s something that you can’t manage in 2024 but you can research and start saving for. I think it was almost 20 years ago that my friends started taking annual vacations to Mexico. I had school age children at the time so something like that seemed impossible. Still, it was something I really wanted so I had to figure out how to make it happen. At my next pay increase, I sent that increase to my new vacation fund. I didn’t miss the money because I never had it. I think it took 3 years to save for that first all-inclusive vacation. When we returned, I immediately upped that draw to the vacation fund so we could go every other year. You get the picture; make a plan and make it happen! One thing for sure; if you don’t plan it, it won’t happen.

Speaking of money, we (ok I) decided that I wasn’t going to run around spending money on things that I thought the kids would like. No matter the time and effort put into these purchases; reality is these items were likely going home to sit in a closet or be instantly put in the Goodwill box. To fill the time usually spent oohing and awing over such gifts, Scott and I created some fun games and this year we launched the first annual Christmas Olympics. Games included Christmas song trivia, a shooting game, family feud, ring toss and whiffle ball toss. Money typically used for the useless gifts, was used to fund prizes for the games. Overall, I’m happy with how it went and we already have ideas for next year’s games.

Like so many, our greatest source of pride is our children. What makes it even better is knowing that we can have Christmas with all our kids at the same time and they enjoy each other’s company. Seeing all four adult children and their spouses sharing laughs together is priceless. Now adding to that are the grandchildren. My son’s daughter is a little more than two years old and she was quite the entertainer this year. Announcing with each gift she received that she needed a knife to open the box. I’m currently in the market for a plastic pocket knife; but like Scott said, she won’t be happy with anything less than the real thing. Like all grandparents, I’m pretty sure she is much smarter than her peers. They also announced that she will be graduating to big sister next year so we have that to look forward to. At almost five months, Scott’s son’s little man just sat around smiling and looking cute in between feedings. I think it’s safe to say that everyone had a great time and certainly no one left hungry. I still can’t believe that while we took individual pictures, we didn’t remember to take a group photo. Unfortunately, I think that would have been as successful as herding cats at the time.

The Christmas long weekend included several stops and seemed like one never-ending feeding frenzy. As we work our way through all the remaining goodies; cookies, Chex Mix, both purchased and home-made caramel corn and chocolates, the panic sets in. Eventually this needs to stop. Reading my mind, my Facebook feed is full of ads for the newest Keto weight loss gummies. Waking with nothing on the docket again today, I decide to look into the claims of all these no effort weight loss options. I need to find out, did Pfizer really develop this new miracle drug that was brought to life on Shark Tank and seemingly endorsed by so many, including superstar Kelly Clarkson?

Despite every third item in my Facebook feed being an ad or article about these amazing new gummies, nothing on YouTube or Google verifies that any of it is true. I watched the episode of the Today Show where she supposedly came out about her weight loss secrets; only to learn that she never mentioned how she lost the weight and clearly never credited the Keto gummies. Most clips about Kelly Clarkson related to weight loss are from five years ago. I found nothing to verify that they were discovered on Shark Tank either. I did find a few episodes of Dr. Oz that talk about weight loss but none promote these miracle Keto gummies.

Was my research a total waste of time? Time will tell. It did lead me to some weight management tools that I’m willing to check out but more importantly reminded me that social media is such a dangerous thing. Whether we are lured into on-line games that either suck our time or money, or believing that people are living the dream lives they like to post on social media; we need to make sure we are keeping all this in perspective. I found little to no truth to the claims I was being bomb-barded with on Facebook; showing just how easy it is to manipulate information. Very few people have the time or inclination to step back and do a little fact checking. Sadly, so many sit glued to their phones, believing what they read and feeling like they are failing in comparison.

Scott & I with the Grands; 493 days post stem cell transplant

Rather than trying to keep up with the Jones’s; focus on what is most important to you. As I look back over the past few weeks, I find pleasure in thinking about the opportunities Scott and I gave to others to enjoy food and fellowship. The amount of laughter shared with our good friends. My greatest gift was a hand-written letter written from my son. These are the memories I will take with me into the next year. One of the greatest advantages of retirement is being able to choose who you spend time with and greatly limiting the amount of time you have to spend with toxic people. I’m excited to know that I’m starting 2024 spending a week in January with a great group of ladies in a beautiful place. I’m sure there will be a lot of laughter and story-telling. It feels pretty good to be know that my schedule will allow time for things that I have always wanted to do; even if I don’t yet know what they are.

Post COVID

November 16, 2023 / sfosas0211 / Leave a comment

As I reported a couple weeks ago, full retirement started with both Scott and I having COVID. For us, COVID was body aches and a total exhaustion. God’s way of changing my pace for the coming years. I’ve done almost nothing for weeks and I’m ok with it. I might even be able to get used to it. Week four and I am recovered but Scott is still having some nasal congestion. The doctor gave him an anti-biotic Monday just for good measure. Never wanting to share our germs, I don’t think we’ve kissed in almost a month. I know most of you don’t want to hear about it, but even at our age, I think we all need that kiss from our partners to keep that little pep in our step. Maybe tomorrow!

All this down time led to some observations. First let me say that I’ve been trying to tell you. It’s no surprise to me that the first Golden Bachelor is such a hit. I’m disappointed that they seem to have found him 22 aged swim suit models. Well, actually I think there were 21 – I remember one lady wore a jogging suit and she was gone on night one. But reality is that as a society we are so vain that they had to have eliminated thousands of applicants that were “fluffy”. I don’t see anyone in my daily travels in my small town that look like any of those mature yet beautiful ladies. Keep in mind, Gerry lives in what I think is rural Indiana so access to Botox maintenance might be tricky to find. Yet who knows, the Amish might have an herbal therapy for that for all I know. I wish him the best with whomever he chooses. It was pretty funny when at least a couple of them admitted to having gas at least; and one actually was pretty proud of herself. She’s got my vote for the 1^st Golden Bachelorette.

I love how host Jessie seems to be so amazed to see and learn all about mature love. While I don’t feel like the women are a fair sampling of the aging ladies out here in the real world, I do love that they were mostly kind to each other. Even the resident “mean girl/lady” was fairly diplomatic about her complaints. The feelings that they all expressed are so much like I felt when I was able to find the love of my life in my “advanced” years. While I tried to get that information out via my blog, I’m glad that they were willing to do that show and spread the word that there is hope for love and happiness later in life.

It’s rare that we aren’t watching TV, browsing our i-pads or working on the computer. Complete waste of time.

Secondly, retirement has inforced what I already knew. That social media is a total waste of time and truly an addiction. I don’t even want to know the number of hours that I’ve spent the last month on Facebook, YouTube and games on my computer. I know that my Facebook feed will be nothing but advertisements and repeatedly-shared quotes but yet I can’t stop myself from going back to see what’s new. Scott is actually no better and who would have guessed that he would end up addicted to Facebook. We may eventually need to hold a YouTube intervention for him. Luckily, so far, he has been able to learn a lot of useful skills that have expanded his woodworking abilities and he’s turning into quite the mechanic. I’ll keep you posted if I end up needing help on that one.

Thirdly, I feel like it’s been months since either of us have had a good night’s sleep. I’m beginning to wonder if aging makes this an impossible feat. Between congestion, snoring and Scott’s secret desire to be a Kung Fu fighter, sleeping is near impossible. My mild manner husband seems to find himself always in the middle of a confrontation including shouting and fighting – all in the middle of the night in his sleep. So, after trying every trick in the book, I might finally fall asleep around 2 a.m. Only to be suddenly awakened by a smack in the head, or a swift kick to the shins. Try relaxing and falling asleep after that happens! Funny – but not funny; scared to death to end up with a broken nose in the middle of the night I hug the edge of the bed, with my back to him. Ugh! We are hoping it’s medication related but who knows. All this leaving us in a dilemma; I can’t sleep with him and he claims he can’t sleep without me. What to do!

This week we are reminded that life has a way of calling the shots – ready or not. Last weekend our neighbor fell, hit his head, had a heart attack and died. He and his wife were living the second time around dream when it came crashing down; literally. So sad. Then Monday, we went to Scott’s appointments at Ann Arbor and were able to spend some time with a former customer and friend from Sunfield. He and his bride are yet another example of finding love later in life when you didn’t see it coming. Once they found each other, it was seemed so obvious and we all wondered – why didn’t someone see this a long time ago? In the same way that they were able to find love together, she was taken from him Tuesday night after a rather short illness. Continued evidence that we just need to live life to its fullest each day. Not that we should throw financially responsibility to the wind, but there’s a lot of times you just need to take the plunge and book that bucket list vacation or make that phone call to the friend or family member you always mean to reach out to.

Conversely, retirement has its perks. I’ve already gotten my turkey and stuffing purchased so I’m way ahead of the game. Thanksgiving has always been my favorite holiday and I love cooking all the staples that go with the celebration. I’m looking forward to taking a picture of Scott carving the turkey and seeing how much better he looks than last year at this time. We booked a spur of the moment trip to the Bahamas.

We’re working on a date for Christmas with the kids which is a process. When you have a blended family consisting of four married adult children with in-laws and company parties to work around. I’m excited to be able to focus on our meal for ten adults now that catering is out of the picture. No more planning Christmas meals for hundreds of people and all the shopping, planning and stress that goes with that. Five years of that was enough. I’m enjoying using my culinary skills on Scott and the family. Today my house smells like garlic and onions as I made everything bagels with the help of my bread machine.

I can’t believe how easy it is to make your own bagels with the help of your bread maker.

Tonight, we’re heading to Shipsie for country/rock concert. Friday night we are hopefully FINALLY attending Silver Bells in Lansing. A Christmas parade and the lighting of the tree at the State capital; something I have been wanting to attend for a few years now but we were always working. Going into the holidays with more fun things on the calendar than doctors’ appointments is a pleasant change. Now that we are feeling better, we will have to pace ourselves on eating out by coming up with a reasonable weekly budget for our meals out. With us no longer eating most our meals out of take-out containers from the store, it’s a constant battle. It seems like the dishwasher is always full; are they clean or dirty? I can’t help but think of that corny advertisement where the old couple talks about doing it every night and groan. Still as I load the dishwasher and hit the time delay button again, I can’t help but think it is seeing a lot more action than I am. Sorry – as Kathy would say, I just need to ZIP IT! Have a blessed week!

Exit Stage Right..

October 30, 2023 / sfosas0211 / Leave a comment

For those who have been following my stories, you know that my road to retirement has been a long one. I’ve had more retirements than some people have jobs. Back in 2014, leaving not only left a lucrative career as an ag loan officer after 20 years but packing up and moving to Southwest Michigan to begin a new life with a new last name. The future was full of hearts and rainbows and happily ever-after.

Fast forward to August 1, 2022; when I left my job at Dairy Farmers of America after only six years of service. We had been given the green light to retire by our financial advisor the year before but it didn’t seem right at the time. I wasn’t ready. However, less than a year later I found myself leaving a career I was very competent at to learn more about the medical field than I had cared to. Ten days after retiring, Scott and I moved into U of M for his stem cell transplant; hoping to put this rare form of blood cancer behind us once and for all.

Last year at this time we were hanging out at our home away from home after weeks in the hospital.

By May of 2023, and over $1 million dollars’ worth of medical treatments later; Scott was feeling very good. We decided that our desire to spend time together was more important than the rare moments of bliss resulting from owning my own business. The prospect of change in our little village led to quite a buzz and allowed the store to basically sell itself in a matter of days. Would the new owners continue to make fried chicken? Everyone wanted to be guaranteed that everything would stay the same. I’ll admit that while I was anxious to see it go, selling it caused a different kind of anxious. Knowing that I had continued the most the traditions that John had built in his 32 years of ownership meant that we had maintained consistent product offerings for nearly 40 years and with that came pressure.

Despite heartfelt attempts to convince me that they were the right people for the job, my apprehension was getting the best of me. Would the new owners really keep things the same? Attempts to communicate with the buyers throughout the process were squashed by the realtor. After months of not daring to get excited about the end being in sight; we went from having a notice of approval to a closing in nine days; well technically, eight and a half days. We fried chicken right to the end; the real estate closing was at 2 p.m. and my staff served customers until 2 p.m. The new owners moved in “over-night” and opened the next morning. I had agreed to help with the transition for four weeks, but it was clear very early on that my help wasn’t necessary. Rather than training and providing guidance, I spent my final three weeks as an over-paid dish washer. I’m not proud of it, but I chose to head for the hills rather than fulfill the last week of my commitment. Certainly not the first person to leave a job feeling irrelevant nor the last.

Hard as I tried, my newly given mantra of “Not My Problem” wasn’t sinking in and I’m not sure when it will. Having been with us through Scott’s illness, our customers and employees will always hold a special place in our hearts. It will take more than a few days to let go of all the plans that never came to fruition there. Time marches on and change happens. We roll with it or get rolled over.

For what I swear was my last retirement celebration, Tal and Cindy stepped up again and hosted in Tal’s new party barn. Friday night. The weather wasn’t great but the company was. I actually returned home the next day to put in another four hours at the store; my last day on the schedule. I left that day like any other, eager to go to the concert we had been planning on seeing for a few months. Come Sunday morning we would be headed to Batchawana to begin our lives in full retirement. Whoop! Whoop!

We headed out Sunday morning as planned. All packed into Scott’s new ride. Ready and excited to begin our first of many adventures in our newly unencumbered lives. Despite the off and on rain, the drive was beautiful. I’m not sure if fall colors get better with age or if we just appreciate them more each year, but this fall; they have been absolutely stunning. We pull into the drive; and what to our wondering eyes should appear, but a tree down across the drive. In a near sacrilegious move, Scott didn’t bring a chainsaw. Nothing was going to dampen our moods. We backed up and hit the road, headed to Wayne’s house in search of a chainsaw. Thankfully, he and Mary were home and we grabbed the saw and headed back; anxious to get back and unpacked before darkness hit.

Dawn breaks on Monday and Scott is up before the sun. So was I; but thankfully that was after 8 a.m. We placed the new liquor cabinet and tackled a couple burn projects. By mid-afternoon, Scott was developing a headache. We figured that wasn’t all that shocking with the wood stove in the cabin and all the smoke from the clean-up. Maybe we need a carbon monoxide detector in there? What did we bring for drugs? Well, he packed all his own pills and I grabbed an old bottle of Dayquil on the way out the door but I hadn’t planned on us getting sick. That really wasn’t exactly part of my retirement fantasy.

So, as he sleeps his way through the supper hours, I begin to worry and start pouting. Why can’t we have even a full day of rest, relaxation and happiness before reality smacks us in the face again. I don’t think about all the great things in our life; our families and friends. Our financial security. I can only see the unfairness of the situation at hand. I know I’ll be next; I just don’t know when.

After barely any time awake Tuesday and Wednesday he felt good enough to help pack and load on Thursday morning so we took the opportunity and left for home. Mid-way home, it was clear I was developing the same symptoms and it was only a matter of time before this plague had its way with me too. Sure as shit, my first free Saturday in six years found me testing positive for COVID. It’s a little difficult to focus on being glad it waited until I had some free time.

So, as I sat wallowing in my own self-pity, I started to feel a strange sensation in my nose and throat. Yup, you guessed it – I was losing my taste and smell. You would think that would make someone not want to eat. Not me, I had to try everything just to see if I could taste it. All the delicacies we brought back from our journey. Extremely burnt cinnamin raisen toast that I would never eat in a million yeras if it weren’t for the sake of science. Spicy, hot chili and creamy pumpkin whoopie pies. Fresh squeezed apple cider and crispy fall apples. The textures and temperatures were tantilizing but I was getting nothing on the flavor side. I know some might want to disagree but I think this was my message from God. A gentle reminder of what else he could take from me. That this is only temporary and it could be so much worse. To put on my big girl panties and suck it up. Sit back and relax for just a few days. He still has many great things still planned for me; I just have to be patient. Rome wasn’t built in a day and this is only week one of the rest of my life.

Awanabatch

August 23, 2023October 30, 2023 / sfosas0211 / Leave a comment

Scott and I just made our fourth trip to the family cabin, lovingly referred to as “Awanabatch”. This trip included Scott and his cousin replacing a deck for a family friend so that gave me some time to kill. I like to daydream about writing my first best-selling novel from here. Much like all the books I read about the Eastern shores, the view from my window is picturesque. I imagine myself in a string bikini, sitting in an Adirondack chair in the sand with the waves lapping on the shore with my writing tablet on my lap. I’m about 30 years old, tall, thin, with a mane of shiny long blond hair. Instead, I am sitting at the kitchen table teetering on the edge of both my chair and fifty-nine and a half; drinking coffee in my pajamas, leggings and a flannel shirt. Accessorized with my reading glasses perched mid-way down my nose. My grey hair pulled back in a pony tail. Waiting for my morning coffee to do its magic. The sights and sounds of the Lake are the only reality. But a girl can dream.

Purchased by Scott’s grandfather in 1935 the compound has break-taking views and near-century old family memories. A perfect place to unplug and enjoy the peace and quiet. For those of us that can’t enjoy sitting still, there are always a ton of maintenance projects available to pass the time. The second cabin on the property was the dream of Uncle Henry and I think he would be pleased at what is finally almost finished. Many hours will be spent looking out at Lake Superior and daydreaming from the kitchen table.

Along with the work on the “new” cabin, we’ve been working on preserving the history of the original cabin. A major kitchen renovation is needed but even with its inconvenient features and worn-out amenities, it’s still the preferred meal spot. The walls are decorated with childhood artwork from Scott’s generation; recently preserved by laminating. The dining room table can sit about 14 uncomfortably. Sit down suppers are tradition here, regardless of how little elbow room you have. Family dogs find themselves under the table, anxiously awaiting table scraps. Zeus usually found this a good time to claim the living room couch as all his.

The first addition to the original cabin was built for accommodating guests. Scott’s mom remembers her parents having dances in that room when it was first built. Now that room has been relocated and serves as the laundry and bath house. Replaced by a bigger and better version in the nineties, it now doubles as another bedroom or a place for board games or cards. I look forward to the day we share the time with friends and maybe dance there ourselves. George the stuffed moose guards the original living room. From the cathedral ceiling, model airplanes hang. A favorite rainy-day past-time of years gone by. There are shelves and shelves of books and with our family, it’s nothing to see everyone in the main room with the fireplace roaring and everyone with their noses buried in a book with a steaming cup of coffee next to them.

We have a no television policy here. Occasionally we have radio service but some times we just break out the old CD’s or records and fire up the record player. Days begin with coffee and bacon and Batchawana fries. Like his dad before him, Scott loves making breakfast for the family. Staples are housed in the tin lined closet. A place where paper products and perishable food items are safe from sampling. Mice and bats have been known to try and join the party.

Plans for a romantic beach fire were foiled by a band of ATV’s crossing the property at dark. As it turned out, they were setting up for the fireworks show that was post-poned from the 4th of July. Bonus for me since I love fireworks, but a heads up would have been preferred.

Guests are free to wander the beaches and wooded areas. Kids anxiously await permission to play on the rope swing. Those that dare can swing out from the roof of the dilapidated old boat house. Fishing from the shore of the river has been very successful in the last couple years. It’s nothing to pull in an eighteen-inch, five-pound bass right from the dock. They had some heavy rains the day we got here so fishing has yet to be successful on this trip. There are pontoon rides to the party spot where the river narrows to a point that boats can’t pass through. It’s a great place for fishing or treasure hunting for fellow rock hounds.

I would be remiss to not mention the “nudies”. For as long as we can remember, the property across the river has been owned by those we lovingly refer to as the nudies. They enjoy using their sauna then running to cool themselves off in the river – buck naked. In recent years, the matriarch of that property has gotten a little over-protective and is known to try to discourage us from fishing near his property by either running around naked and making obscene gestures or taking his boat and doing circles around our boat to ruin the fishing.

We’ve gotten the journey here down to about seven hours. Every time we are thinking about how crazy it must have been for his grandfather to have made this trip; let alone even find this property. An attorney in Rochester, he set out in search of a place to escape his severe allergies. Born in 1878, he would have been about 54 when he purchased the former logging camp. Back then the road ended not much past the Batchawana River and getting this far required taking the ferry because neither the Mackinaw or International bridges were even constructed yet. We can only imagine what that would have been like and how long a trip would have taken back then.

It’s only been in the last year that we have finally gotten regular cell service at the property. Internet is available on your phone but we don’t have Wi-Fi. In 1935, Scott’s grandfather some how managed a law practice from here without cell or internet. Scott remembers the days when in order for them to call home, they needed to go across the river and use the payphone at the old grocery store. Making trips up here each summer in the family woody wagon. Excluding the two years during COVID where Americans were not allowed in Canada, even if they owned property; Scott’s mom has only missed coming up here for a couple years in her entire life.

A trip to the area would not be complete without a run up to the Canadian Carver and the Voyager. Landmarks for this area. Purchasing our fishing licenses at the Carver. Perusing the large souvenir shop full of treasures for the tourists before treating everyone to ice cream cones. Scott and Cam getting their favorite Tiger Tail ice cream. An orange sherbet with ribbons of black licorice; available only in Canada. Heading back after picking up a few of the world-famous apple fritters from the Voyager. And no trip is complete without a visit to or from Wayne and Mary; dear family friends. Complete with cocktails on the deck over-looking the river; catching up and comparing notes.

When Scott and I first started dating, he made it clear that unless I had a love for this property, a future together was unlikely. Luckily, from my first visit here in 2012, I have been looking forward to spending more and more time here. So much so, that Scott and I were considering investing our store proceeds in a property with water accessible to this property. That was until we found that Canada has a hold on outsiders purchasing property in their Country. Putting that dream on hold.

It doesn’t resemble an all-inclusive tropical resort but it’s heaven for us. Those lacking a tolerance of occasional rodents or critters need not make the trip. If you are looking for calm and relaxing walks on the beach or tossing a line in the water dreaming of that next big catch, we have a place fitting that bill. Just make sure you stop at the duty-free and/or bring your own drink of choice because the liquor cabinet is empty and I’m not sharing any more.

Where Do We Go from Here?

August 15, 2023 / sfosas0211 / 2 Comments

This week marks what will be Scott’s first birthday – August 17^th – one year since his life-saving stem cell transplant. Followed by six weeks of living at C S Mott Children’s Hospital. Living in a series of home-away-from-home locations; in a bubble with social media as our communicator to the outside world.

Scott at his 1-yr appointment with Kari on Monday. She’s a special lady!

So many people reached out to us over the past year that we can’t begin to thank everyone for all their thoughts and prayers and gifts of support. Just know it was all appreciated and kept us going. Scott is so thankful for being free from pain. The after-care at U of M has been awesome; we love the Nurse Practitioner assigned to him. Kari does a great job. He still takes 12 pills a day but that’s down drastically from 40. Luckily his stomach handles it without issue.

On the other hand, I’m still holding on to my goal of making it to 60 without taking any prescription medications. I had to break down and pick up Omeprazole from Sam’s on Friday. Heartburn is burning holes in my sails lately. If I wasn’t so cheap, I would invest in some Prevagen too, since the last year or so has really taken a toll on my memory. I think they should do a study; not only is cancer brain real, I think it spreads to the care giver too!

I recently had Classic Vinyl tuned into my delivery van and I was taken back by a song that I haven’t heard in years. Alan Parsons Project, “Games People Play” really spoke to me that day. My research shows that it peaked at #16 in March of 1981 on the Billboard Hot 100 chart. Back when my biggest worry was probably finding prom dress or something critical like that. Long before I could even dream of growing old. Now I feel like it’s my anthem. “Where do we go from here, now that all of the children are growin’ up? And how do we spend our lives, if there’s no one to lend us a hand? I don’t wanna live here no more, I don’t wanna stay. Ain’t gonna spend the rest of my life quietly fading away.” Funny how a song that meant little to nothing to me 40 some years ago pretty sums up my current state of affairs.

Where do we go from here? Post-cancer and entering retirement. Scott’s path has been laid out for him; like it or not. No more farming and limited contact with plants and soils for the rest of his life. Yet he’s so thankful to be feeling good that he’s adjusting very well. Things look so different than what we imagined; while some doors have closed, many are yet to be opened. When I met him, we both knew it meant living on or near the farm forever. Yet now, does it?

Now that all of the children are growin’ up – we have four amazing kids that have found their life partners and are beginning their lives together. We just welcomed our first grandson into the world and are so excited to be able to watch him grow. Between COVID and Ann Arbor, our little River (now almost two) has grown so fast and we have missed much more than we would have liked. The joy of having a new baby also reminds us of baby Rose that we never got the chance to know. Saturday we were blessed to be able to have Scott’s mom and kids here for the afternoon to take turns loving on the new little one.

Celebrating family time – Me, Scott’s daughter, Scott & baby Caden, Scott’s son and wife -the new parents.

And how do we spend our lives? They say that when you’re retired you wonder how you had time to work. I hope that’s true because you know I can’t sit still and Scott isn’t much better. He is loving his time in the pole barn with his wood crafts and just socializing one on one. Knowing I won’t be able to give up Quickbooks cold turkey, I’ve agreed to help with the farm books. After forty years of posting and reconciling; I am not ready to give up crunching numbers. It will require figuring out the on-line version, it will be a good for me to keep evolving with the times, albeit begrudgingly. If that’s not enough to keep me busy, I already have leads on two jobs I might like on a part-time basis.

If there’s no one to lend us a hand? This one might be the only line that doesn’t hold true. I think any small farm town you live in there are people that will lend you a hand. While Scott and his siblings don’t all chat on a daily basis or anything they are sure to rally when one of them is in need or time of crisis. Not to mention our neighbors that have done so much to help us over the last year. Around here, they really do take care of their own.

Once the store is sold, maybe I don’t wanna live here no more. Will we eventually want to be closer to our grandchildren so we can attend all their activities? Move closer to all our friends and enjoy golf and pool parties and potlucks? Live on a lake? It feels like every weekend we are driving over an hour to take part in birthday parties and celebrations. That kinda takes the fun out of it. I don’t want to stay in a town where I don’t have close friends and don’t feel like I have people near me that can meet up for lunch or an impromptu outing. It’s really not enough that everyone is kind and friendly and the neighbors are helpful if you don’t feel close to anyone.

Ain’t gonna spend the rest of my life quietly fading away. It goes without saying if you know me at all. I can’t wait to see what opportunities present themselves once I have the store behind me. I trust that something meaningful and rewarding will find its way to me. We have a healthy bucket list but there will be times where daily life is all that’s on the agenda; and what will that look like? I might not even want to commit to part-time work if it means I have to keep a regular schedule. Whatever it is, it will have to be rewarding. After more than 30 years of helping people in a professional setting, it’s hard to give up. Even the store has been about helping people, just in a different way. Not to mention a year of taking care of my cowboy.

I watched the movie with Tom Hanks called “Otto” the other night. It was a little depressing and very predictable but was the story of a man who had lost his spouse and then was forced into retirement. He literally didn’t want to stay; not only in the home that he had shared with the love of his life but “here”. I’m afraid that probably happens more than we want to know.

While neither of us ever expected to retire at all, let alone early, it seems to be God’s plan for us. We impatiently wait for word that the buyer’s financing for the store is fully secured and a closing is being scheduled. Keeping things going while we wait is very stressful but nothing compares to what we were dealing with a year ago. Time certainly has a way of healing. Not just our bodies, but our minds. Allowing us to look back and think that even the worst of times weren’t all that bad now that they are in the rear-view mirror.

It turns out that this same song was part of the album “The Turn of a Friendly Card”. I’m going to think of that as just another sign that after the rough patch that we’ve had that we are moving into a new improved phase where we will make the best of the hand we are dealt. Check out the symphonic version of that song on YouTube – it’s pretty awesome!

Feeling 17 Again

August 1, 2023 / sfosas0211 / 2 Comments

After sharing my last update my feed was pretty quiet. I always wonder and worry; did I offend someone with my honest approach to our life changing situation? Still, I continue to feel that honesty is the best policy. Tell it like it is rather than sugar coat things for social media. Too many people like to make others feel like their life is story book perfect but that’s not me. That being said, I think it’s only right to share another story that happened the same day as my last report. While the day was pretty heavy with frustrations and apprehension, it ended perfectly. This story almost too good to be true in comparison but as real as the other. That’s what real life is; a rollercoaster of emotions. Learning to best navigate the ride of the day.

Managing a whole afternoon and evening of relaxation was not coming without some type of assistance. After finding the right tools for the job, I was feeling pretty good and eventually wandered back to the pole barn to check in on my man. By then he was cleaning up and decidedly hungry. We discussed our options and decided on a cruise for dinner. Owning three classic vehicles, dinner out means not only deciding where we want to go but what to drive and which one best matches the mood of the evening.

Stopping at the local Shell station to fuel up the 1992 Jeep chosen for our cruise for vittles, we got gas and washed the windshield, inside and out. We stopped at the local greasy spoon for burgers and beers on the patio over-looking a seemingly quiet river for this warm mid-summer night. With full bellies and feeling totally relaxed; we jumped back in the Jeep to marvel over that clean windshield. One that was now almost non-existent and in my relaxed state of mind was like an incredible open window to the past.

Back to a time when Scott was likely cruising these very same back roads with his girl. In a like universe miles from here, I was doing the same with my boyfriend in his classic Chevrolet. Watching and identifying the deer and waiting for night to fall; anticipating the pleasures that the darkness would bring. Reminiscing about great memories of our youth but more importantly, here today and feeling those same feelings of excitement of being together. Laughing at my imagination, enjoying each other’s company and feeling young again.

There is an over-whelming comfort in realizing that I enjoy that same things I did forty some years ago and knowing that he loves the same things. The sounds and smells of grazing livestock. Feeling the changes in temperature and humidity on a warm summer night when passing through the shaded or wet areas near lakes or swamps. The smell of growing corn, fresh cut hay, or straw from the recently harvested wheat fields. Watching as deer munch on juicy, green soybean leaves. Trying to determine whether the group is all does with young ones while looking for and hoping to see signs of the growing antlers on the male deer; all fuzzy in the velvet stage. Spotting a trophy buck.

Teenage dreams fulfilled. I have a man that adores me and I can see it in his eyes when we are nose to nose or side by side in our beat-up old Jeep. That silly smile that makes me feel like a love-struck teenager. Those not-so-subtle hints that let me know I’ll get lucky tonight. Nights like tonight remind me that life is good.

Luckily, by nightfall we had a comfortable home to go and relax in. No cops knocking on the fogged-up car window. Not only did that clean windshield provide a window to our youth, but also to 2022. Back to last summer when we were making final preparations to spend the rest of the summer in the hospital. Only about ten days away from his bone marrow transplant that we hoped would save him from the pain and suffering he had endured for the past months. Now discussing plans for our future, both post-BMT and post-work and business ownership. Realizing that we have so many options that many don’t have. Most we didn’t dare dream about a year ago.

Tonight’s date continued with an episode of Bosch Legacy and ice cream with chocolate syrup and maraschino cherries on top. From there, reading in our adjustable bed. Will it end there? Of course, it will; we’re a couple of old farts. Or… are we still just seventeen; like we feel. Enjoying most of the same things and still trying to figure out what to do with the rest of our lives.

Retirement – Right Foot in and Left Foot out

July 31, 2023July 31, 2023 / sfosas0211 / Leave a comment

Fueled with a little attitude adjustment this past weekend, I felt the writing bug feeding me a story or two; something I feared I might never feel again. So many thoughts and ideas flooded my mind; most of them evaporated by the time we finished our joy ride but I’ll do my best to pass along a few updates.

A year after leaving my full-time job as an ag loan officer, I’m still far from being retired. Owning a small store/restaurant like I have is more than a full-time job in itself. Scott’s feeling much better these days and we recently enjoyed ten days away, a visit to the annual canoe trip in Lake City and then a week at the family cabin in Canada. Scott’s son joined us without his wife as she is expecting in August. Smart man; decided to do his “Baby Moon” single. Scott’s daughter and husband came with their four-legged child and we came with only memories of our wonder dog Zeus. I haven’t written since losing him, but not a day goes by that we don’t think of our big lovable Boxer.

Other than a 2-4 mile hike up a mountain/hill on a mosquito infested trail, it was a pretty chill trip. The length of the trip varies by who you ask and when. I sucked it up and made it; figuring if Scott could then I could too. I’m pretty sure that was the same thing that kept Scott going too; only in reverse. Fishing was great and the weather was comfortable.

Unfortunately, we weren’t even unpacked before shit hit the proverbial fan at the store and I was picking up the pieces. Now its weekdays working on books, banking, payroll, scheduling and shopping and being on the schedule for the closing shift each weeknight. Feeling like I don’t want to make the difficult changes necessary when they are telling me that closing is still on track for the beginning of October. All we can do is hope they are right.

Scott seems to have adjusted to his forced retirement a little better than expected. It helps that his body has helped limit his energy so he’s able to work in the pole barn on his projects in small increments and nap whenever he wants and repeat. He tends to rise between 5 a.m. and 7 a.m. and likes to take a walk soon after he wakes. When possible, I would rather sleep in until 7 a.m. to 8 a.m. and play Wordle and watch the weather and local news. In my pajamas. The last thing I want to do is wake up and start walking. That would likely require dressing. Particularly when some days I spend three plus hours grocery shopping then another three to six hours on my feet working. Hard pass on the walk at 7 a.m.

One minute he’s a social butterfly; flitting around from one breakfast or lunch date to the next. Both glad to see people and glad to have his taste buds returning almost normal. Yet get to the end of the day and he’s too tired to go to the party I want to go to. Still a little leery of crowds with no immunity. Next month he can start getting his childhood shots. I’m still adjusting to his new personality; or trying at least.

People ask what I mean by that. First of all, it’s an adjustment to just have him feeling good and not working. Example, this past Saturday; Scott was in the middle of what I assumed was breakfast for us, frying bacon, when he got a call from his brother Steve. Next thing I know, he’s heading out the drive with Steve; off to breakfast. Left in the dust to finish making my own breakfast. Or we discuss our plans for the day and he tells me he’s right behind me; so, I head up to the store to start on a project. Two hours later, I text “WTH?”. Oops, someone called and wanted to go to breakfast. Or I come home and there’s no sign of him. Gone to lunch and didn’t leave a note or text. His phone is on the counter; at least that didn’t change. It’s hard not to worry even though he has been feeling great. He leaves for a walk without his phone and is gone for an hour. Oops, I was talking to every neighbor that would listen. It’s all good; it just takes some adjustment.

Even with the difficulty scheduling at the store, I do everything possible to avoid working Saturday nights. This past week, I ended up back at home just before 2 p.m. Scott was in the pole barn climbing ladders and doing things he probably shouldn’t be doing, clearly busy. You can’t tell a grown man with a second chance at life what to do; believe me, I’ve tried. The new Scott is a little more vocal than the original version. So, best to just move on and figure out what to do with the rest of my day. A rare afternoon and evening free of obligations. The first in what has probably been a month of fully committed days. Sure, I have lots of work I could do but it’s Saturday afternoon for gosh sakes. Time to do whatever I want to do; and it can’t be work. Sadly, I have no idea where to begin.

I started with dipping the stale rain water out of the hot tub since I could do it in my bathing suit. Afterall, it’s late July and over 85 degrees out. I look for and successfully rescue 5 butterfly larva and pull weeds in one of my many neglected flower beds. Still only 5 p.m. I visit Scott out in the barn, now working on making a dust collector for his miter saw. Guess I’ll go play a little June’s Journey on my tablet. If this is what retirement is like, this is going to make for some painfully long days. Three hours of self-imposed free time and I’m over it already. With all the buzz and excitement about retirement, I now see it being borderline traumatic. No wonder people pass away within days of their retirement; they’re lost or scared to death; literally.

After a life-time of what was almost constant multi-tasking; I’m already contemplating taking a job for a few years; just because I really can’t grasp the idea of living potentially 30 years while not working. I can really see how so many retirees seem to party all the time; one, because they can of course, and two; to numb themselves enough to not feel guilty for not doing something critical every day. Not pushing papers or making parts to make the world go round, no feeding the people or churning the almighty dollar.

Not to say that enjoying time with friends and family isn’t important, but most of us find ourselves squeezing it in between all our “must dos”. I’m not sure I’m ready to have nothing on the calendar but social events and doctors’ appointments. With so many friends and family members living an hour or more away, I almost dread the time that will have to be spent commuting to do all the things we’ve worked our whole lives to have time to enjoy. Never-ending back yard barbeques, dinners out, vacations and fun with the grandkids.

We will see what retirement brings. Hopefully the sale of the store keeps moving along and we are free by the end of the year. Until then, it’s one foot in and one foot out. For now, I’ll have to settle for counting down the number of days that I will still be walking around smelling like fried chicken and potato wedges.

How Do You Sell Your “Baby”

May 18, 2023 / sfosas0211 / Leave a comment

When you last heard from me, I was basically bringing our story to a close. The last chapter of a year-long journey that I hoped would be the end of a year from hell. As it turns out the saga continues; or maybe my need to get my feelings out on paper continues. What I learned from my year of chronicling our journey was that writing was a very effective way of clearing my head and I as I find myself in the midst of several sleepless nights, more specifically early mornings; I’m hoping a little data dump will help me move on as I deal with the latest turn of events.

*Official approval of our Beer & Wine License – 2017*

The Dawg House started as something to keep me busy along side my full-time job as a loan officer has turned into more work than any two jobs I had held in the past. The after-math of COVID leaving the jobs situation in a shambles and the growth potential of the business more than I can handle on my own. Especially when I have a husband waiting at home. Some days ready to travel and see the world and other days seeming to need someone to keep him safe.

Cancer brought about an abrupt end to Scott’s dream career as a farmer and ultimately mine too. The stem cell transplant might have saved his life but life as we knew it was over. While we are grateful that he is alive, life is drastically different. It includes bursts of energy followed by long naps and watching the cattle graze behind our house is as close to farming as he will ever be able to get. The germs and hazards of the farm are no longer risks he can take. Technically, even lawn mowing and gardening are not even on the approved activity list but I haven’t had much luck keeping him from doing it.

His first opportunity to attend a Tigers Game this week was foiled by a trip and fall resulting in multiple abrasions and a knee that swelled to the size of a large grapefruit. Now we watch vigilantly for infection; just another complication in the long and arduous healing process after transplant. We’ve ordered him some UV sleeves in hopes of limiting the number of gashes and bruises that appear; his paper-thin skin a side-effect of the drugs he’s on.

After much deliberation, or maybe it was actually just a really bad meltdown, I made the decision to sell the store, The Dawg House, and it was listed with a local realtor on May 1st. Truly the baby born not long after my second life began; when I moved to a new town and began a new life with my new husband. A labor of love that came with much pain and sacrifice in a span of six short years.

Imagine my surprise when a couple days after listing, I hear that news of my decision to sell had actually made THE NEWS and was not only being circulated in the local news and Facebook but also was being discussed on the radio. Mention of it on the local Village Facebook page drew hundreds of responses and lots of comments. Most of them supportive of my decision to retire but some of them were disturbing as they clearly thought they had a say in the future of my life. I wasn’t prepared for the endless questions from customers and added stress it put on my staff. Nor was I mentally prepared for the questions and need to provide financial information to prospective buyers. Putting my life under the microscope and listening to prospective buyers tell what I was doing wrong. Finding myself having to try and sum up the last six years in a few paragraphs. Not only is the realtor considering the sale of my “child” as a routine business transaction, it seems as though everyone was taking that same approach. Failing to understand that I wasn’t going to just hand this over to the first person to write an offer.

The estimated time needed to process a business loan and be approved for a transfer of the beer and wine license is likely to exceed four months. Hard to get excited about my future freedom when the near future looks to be more demanding and over-whelming than it already was. Working through the transition, training and dealing with the regular day to day activities, all while hoping and praying that the loan and license transfer will ultimately be approved and it will all be for not. I’m pretty certain that I’ll be handling all this on my own as the hundreds of locals seeming to think they have a say in what I do will not be showing up to help out in my time of need.

Ultimately, the store will end up being a rather short chapter in my life story. All those that saw the pain and agony it as brought me are all glad to hear that it’s for sale. Excited for my ability to retire and enjoy life. Unfortunately, I have not done a good job of projecting the pride of accomplishment and joy that it has brought me. Much like life in general we tend to hear more about and remember all the bad things when there is actually so much good. I haven’t made record profits on paper throughout my ownership of his gem, but I have made a difference. Providing a dependable source of comfort food at a fair price. Continuing a tradition that spans decades.

A regular customer I lovingly refer to as Dennis the Menace; made a comment to me last week about one of my new employees. He thought she just might make it; noting her improved abilities since being hired. He and I tend to banter back and forth, all in fun, but he made a comment that resonated with me. Something to the effect… “you’re not just running a business here; you’re running a mission; helping people in ways you don’t even realize. It’s not all about making money.” Little does he know how true that is; and I know that because in between all the stress and ugliness of day-to-day business is the occasional quiet happenings that make me know that it’s all been worth it. Things I will miss. Those one-on-one interactions that are priceless and that will always be a part of me.

Vacation & Coming Full Circle

March 20, 2023 / sfosas0211 / Leave a comment

It’s hard to believe that it’s been over two months since I’ve written anything. I spent many days getting things ready for the tax preparer. Still my taxes aren’t done. Two weeks trying to keep the store open with three of my eight employees out with COVID and another week with Scott in the hospital unexpectedly. I had high hopes of submitting something in the local writing contest in February but that didn’t happen.

Even more astounding is that it’s been over a year since this painful journey began. The story begins and will end on vacation.

Looking back, it looks as though I was at my wit’s end in mid-January when I last reported. We FINALLY received payments from AFLAC after filing multiple complaints. Can you say too little too late? I still have more claims to file but can’t seem to get motivated to start the process all over again. Scott’s return to the hospital lasted about a week and he has been feeling incredibly better since then. So much so, we headed out on a much-needed vacation on Friday, February 24^th with his doctor’s permission.

Several friends had extended offers for us to stay with them if we could get away; so, we decided to take them all up on their offers. We also wanted to spend some time in Nashville, Tennessee again. We considered going to the Grand Ole Opry but ultimately decided to look for something unique. I found a concert venue in Pelham, Tennessee; more specifically The Caverns. Larry Fleet was going to be there on Saturday the 25^th so I purchased tickets for that Saturday night making our trip official. We were going to a concert in a cave. No turning back now.

Scott packed his vacation shirt and I did the 101 things necessary to be gone for two weeks, everything from making all the reservations to cleaning out the refrigerator. We dropped Zeus off at Grandma’s and left the house almost on time that Friday morning. Equally amazing was the fact that we arrived at our hotel in Nashville approximately the time we had mapped out. Anyone that has traveled with us knows that a trip that maps out at say 7 hours will end up taking us about 10 hours. We checked into our hotel and inquired about the free shuttle to downtown Nashville. After learning that there was only one shuttle and he was already downtown, we decided to walk. After all, the hotel advertised that they were within walking distance to all the activities on Broadway. That is if you are a high school track star. It turned out to be about a mile and half uphill from all the activities. Walking downhill was sure better than the reverse but walking that far on a decline in cowboy boots comes with its own challenges. After being in the car all day, the walk wasn’t all that bad. That was until we reached our first destination and I was carded. I immediately knew what I had done. In packing my phone case to avoid carrying my purse, I had forgotten to include my driver’s license. I knew better. Imagine my frustration; I just drove seven hours, then walked a mile and half, fully anticipating enjoying a high-priced drink, only to be carded. Needless to say, Scott dialed up the shuttle man and asked him to pick us up and take us back to the hotel. We were able to catch a ride back downtown relatively quickly so it wasn’t a total bust. We had to laugh, of all the iconic places to reference in downtown Nashville, our driver was picking us up in front of the Apple Store. Nice young man but he obviously didn’t come to Nashville for the country music.

We returned to our favorite bar from our last visit which has ironically been renamed “Losers”. No wonder we felt so at home there. We got seats right by the band and stayed for dinner. Most of the really popular places were packed so we avoided them. We did some more sightseeing in the morning and headed out in the late afternoon for our next stop. I had booked a room in a place called the Smokehouse Lodge in Monteagle, TN. It’s been in the same family for over 60 years. They had a fire a couple years ago that took down their entire restaurant. So they remodeled their shop into a make-shift eating establishment complete with live music. We ate off paper plates and drank bottled beer and water. I ordered pulled pork; my sides were Brussel sprouts and cucumber salad. You know, trying to be healthy. Imagine our surprise when they brought out three FULL plates of food – just for me. I think it was about 3 pounds of Brussel sprouts, probably 3 cucumbers sliced with a tomato or two and a hefty pile of sliced onions; with a bottle of Italian dressing. It was really a shame since we had no way of keeping our left-overs. Scott’s food all came on one plate but we really don’t know why they were different. The best part was that it was probably the cheapest meal of our entire vacation; around $30 including tip.

The concert was really good. Unfortunately, it was a decent walk from the parking lot to the cave and the drive to it was probably the most fog I had ever driven in so that made me nervous about getting back to the hotel. The acoustics were great and there wasn’t a bad seat in the place; because there were NO seats. After a rather long day of walking around Nashville, we could only do 3 hours on our feet before we had to make the decision to leave before it was over. Thankfully the fog was a little better on the return trip and we had a restful night.

Our next stop was Valdosta, GA at a Drury Inn by recommendation. We would certainly recommend Drury Inn’s as well. Not only did we each get three free drink tickets at check-in; they also provided a full supper meal. It appeared that they cater to an older crowd. They knew what they were doing with that plan; I’m pretty sure we weren’t the only guests that were in bed by 8 p.m. with full bellies and a nice buzz. Makes for a really quiet establishment. In hindsight, it was a great way to celebrate Day 200 post-transplant.

Monday had us heading for Palm Harbor, Florida to have lunch with Scott’s former brother-in-law and his wife and daughter. They provided a great lunch and we really enjoyed our short visit to their beautiful place. Thanks to supper traffic, our one-hour drive turned into two; making us late for supper at our next stop. The drive from Palm Harbor to Lake Placid was diversified. It started out with busy city traffic and ended with sights and sounds of farm country. Orange trees, sugar cane and quite a few cattle. This stop was with my girlfriend and former co-worker at Farm Credit and her husband. It was easy to see why this part of the state was so attractive to this retired farm couple. The next day, he and Scott went for skid loader parts and a tour of farm country while she and I toured the town, admiring all the murals, did some shopping at Beall’s and stopped at the former Farm Credit office for a photo before hitting the lake for some sun.

Wednesday we went on an airboat ride. Rather than going for a large boat with many people on Lake Okeechobee, we chose to go to a smaller operation where he took just the four of us and was a really good tour guide. We saw several gators, lots of birds and even saw a dead gator being destroyed by other gators. It was an enjoyable adventure. After a quick lunch we were back on the road. This time headed to Fort Lauderdale. Just to say we went there. We spent a little time in the deserted pool and had a great meal at Smoky Bones. The next morning, we spent a little time on Hollywood Beach before heading to the Keys to spend a few days with another good friend. Hard to believe our vacation was half over already.

This was another relaxing stay at another beautiful home. Our friends had just purchased it this year and we were some of their first guests. We enjoyed the pool, the thatched cabana and all the fish in the canal out the back door. She and I went shopping at Beall’s – my new favorite store and got groceries for what ended up being several terrific surf and turf meals there. I was surprised to find that both clothing and groceries weren’t any more there than they had been at home.

We also got to go on a fishing charter on their son’s boat with one of his very capable and patient captains. He kept pretty busy keeping bait on all our lines. Scott caught a couple small sharks, I caught a puffer fish and we all caught some really pretty silver fish that we threw back as well. They were more of a bait fish. We ended up with a nice batch of Mangrove snapper that fed us most of the week as well as gave us a meal to take to our next stop to share there. The water was amazingly calm and before we were done for the day we saw a whole bunch of dolphins; some very curious and coming right up to our boat. I have a feeling we smelled like dead fish so they were interested.

We took a trip to Key West but decided to see that mostly by car rather than walk since it was fairly crowded. We had another great meal in town and enjoyed the people-watching entertainment factor of the whole area. Another great stop on our tour. I think we were up for sunset every morning; enjoying that on our friends’ deck. Then later crossing the street to her son’s house to enjoy sunset on his upper deck. Certainly, the life if you can get it. We left there feeling very relaxed and rested.

*Scott’s 32 year old vacation shirt saw the light of day again this year; fitting better than it has in years.*

Next was a quick stop at Scott’s niece’s place in Cape Coral where she provided cookies and lemonade and another photo op. Our final destination; near Port Charlotte and Englewood. There we stayed with one couple and enjoyed wonderful hospitality as well. Each day we got together with other couples in the same area where we enjoyed the beautiful sunshine, warm pools, friendly card games and great company. We went for a pontoon ride for 14 in the Gulf where we saw more dolphins and I was able to do a little shell hunting. Four more days of total enjoyment with beloved friends.

Day fifteen found us back on the road again; trying to avoid Atlanta, Georgia at rush hour. After rising with the sun every day on vacation, we were able to leave Florida at 6:30 a.m. By now Scott was feeling so good that he even did some of the driving home. After about 10 hours on the road, we had a disagreement with our navigation lady and fought our way through Atlanta, despite her. We made it to Columbus, Tennessee before calling it a day. Twice on our trip we experienced something new. Our navigation system was “speaking” and suddenly paused and said “I’m sorry, let’s try that again”. Thanks for the apology but I’ve already missed my exit! Over all she was a great help and I can’t imagine driving what ended up being over 3000 miles without her.

We certainly feel blessed to have been able to be gone for two full weeks. My employees did a great job while I was gone and I really did very limited work during our time away. We got up early to enjoy full days and while he did enjoy a drink or two occasionally, his doctor report on the Monday of our return showed his liver and kidney numbers very good; no harm done. After all that we went through in the past year, I certainly felt that we deserved a few days of sunshine and relaxation but even more so we felt blessed to be able to go. We had survived what we hope to be the most horrific year of our lives. Literally, financially, mentally and physically. I say “we” because while it happened to him, thankfully he doesn’t remember all of it. I may not have had to suffer the physical pain of his ailment; but my memories remain very vivid. This post-apocalyptic adventure allowed us to see what our friends are doing in Florida and see them enjoy each other and their respective retirement years. We saw a glimpse of what we would like our future to be. Chemo brain still raises it’s ugly head occasionally but we feel like the worm has turned.

We went to his appointment on Monday with a whole new view. I drove without concern or worry; no longer fearing the two-hour journey. He was feeling great. Even with our exit closed, we got there on time. This visit, we were looking healthy and rested and even a little bit tan despite the SPF 100 sun screen. We knew how to navigate the parking and get to his appointments without worry. No longer one of the many people wearing faces of terror and panic about where their lives were heading. Now we were able to help other people get where they needed to be.

Don’t hate us because we look healthy, but please look at us and know that recovery is possible. We look forward to enjoying all that life has to offer. Seeing things through different lenses now that we realize that a healthy tomorrow isn’t always a guarantee and feeling like together; we can do anything.

WhatDoesn'tKillYouGirlMakesYouStronger.

Lessons From the School of Hard Knocks

lifeafter50