After sharing my last update my feed was pretty quiet.  I always wonder and worry; did I offend someone with my honest approach to our life changing situation?  Still, I continue to feel that honesty is the best policy.  Tell it like it is rather than sugar coat things for social media.  Too many people like to make others feel like their life is story book perfect but that’s not me.  That being said, I think it’s only right to share another story that happened the same day as my last report. While the day was pretty heavy with frustrations and apprehension, it ended perfectly. This story almost too good to be true in comparison but as real as the other. That’s what real life is; a rollercoaster of emotions.  Learning to best navigate the ride of the day.   

Managing a whole afternoon and evening of relaxation was not coming without some type of assistance.  After finding the right tools for the job, I was feeling pretty good and eventually wandered back to the pole barn to check in on my man.  By then he was cleaning up and decidedly hungry.  We discussed our options and decided on a cruise for dinner.  Owning three classic vehicles, dinner out means not only deciding where we want to go but what to drive and which one best matches the mood of the evening. 

Stopping at the local Shell station to fuel up the 1992 Jeep chosen for our cruise for vittles, we got gas and washed the windshield, inside and out.  We stopped at the local greasy spoon for burgers and beers on the patio over-looking a seemingly quiet river for this warm mid-summer night.  With full bellies and feeling totally relaxed; we jumped back in the Jeep to marvel over that clean windshield.  One that was now almost non-existent and in my relaxed state of mind was like an incredible open window to the past.  

Back to a time when Scott was likely cruising these very same back roads with his girl.  In a like universe miles from here, I was doing the same with my boyfriend in his classic Chevrolet.  Watching and identifying the deer and waiting for night to fall; anticipating the pleasures that the darkness would bring.  Reminiscing about great memories of our youth but more importantly, here today and feeling those same feelings of excitement of being together.  Laughing at my imagination, enjoying each other’s company and feeling young again. 

There is an over-whelming comfort in realizing that I enjoy that same things I did forty some years ago and knowing that he loves the same things.  The sounds and smells of grazing livestock.  Feeling the changes in temperature and humidity on a warm summer night when passing through the shaded or wet areas near lakes or swamps.  The smell of growing corn, fresh cut hay, or straw from the recently harvested wheat fields.   Watching as deer munch on juicy, green soybean leaves.  Trying to determine whether the group is all does with young ones while looking for and hoping to see signs of the growing antlers on the male deer; all fuzzy in the velvet stage.  Spotting a trophy buck.

Teenage dreams fulfilled.  I have a man that adores me and I can see it in his eyes when we are nose to nose or side by side in our beat-up old Jeep.  That silly smile that makes me feel like a love-struck teenager.  Those not-so-subtle hints that let me know I’ll get lucky tonight.  Nights like tonight remind me that life is good.

Luckily, by nightfall we had a comfortable home to go and relax in.   No cops knocking on the fogged-up car window.  Not only did that clean windshield provide a window to our youth, but also to 2022.  Back to last summer when we were making final preparations to spend the rest of the summer in the hospital.  Only about ten days away from his bone marrow transplant that we hoped would save him from the pain and suffering he had endured for the past months.  Now discussing plans for our future, both post-BMT and post-work and business ownership.  Realizing that we have so many options that many don’t have.  Most we didn’t dare dream about a year ago.      

Tonight’s date continued with an episode of Bosch Legacy and ice cream with chocolate syrup and maraschino cherries on top.   From there, reading in our adjustable bed.  Will it end there?  Of course, it will; we’re a couple of old farts. Or… are we still just seventeen; like we feel.  Enjoying most of the same things and still trying to figure out what to do with the rest of our lives.